and the stars will all come out

chapter eleven! ☆

SLAM!

Dave had hung up the kitchen's landline phone a little too aggressively.

Trying not to look as disappointed as he felt, he turned around to look at Nate and Taylor.

"Jimmy's in Nashville that weekend, thank God."

Then, before either of them could interject, he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and unlocked the front door. "I need a smoke."

With that, even though it was almost midnight and the sky was pitch black, he whipped around and marched outside.

Truthfully, Dave had been feeling a mixture of emotions in the last few hours since Landry had rejected him, none of which he knew how to regulate. He wasn't angry, per se, but he was definitely disappointed - while he didn't mind if she said no, and she was perfectly entitled to, especially with the Evelyn drama going on, he simply hadn't prepared for a reality where Landry would say no to him. His old friend Jimmy may have been in Nashville to help him, but that wouldn't stop the lingering, burning feeling of humiliation curling in his stomach.

You're a dumbass, the little nasty voice in his head said as he flopped into a stained folding chair on the porch. A complete fucking dumbass. And you got your ego hurt because of it.

Okay, it has nothing to do with my ego, Dave found himself thinking in response, but there was no doubt that he was angry with himself.

He had to put his thoughts on pause temporarily as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth, lit it, and took a deep drag.

The relief of nicotine crashed over him, and he closed his eyes as he exhaled a mouthful of smoke, pondering his next move.

Do you feel better now? the optimistic voice in his head asked tentatively.

No, he found himself responding. Actually, I think I feel worse.

Yeah, well, that's what the cigs will do to ya, another voice in his head responded sarcastically.

Sighing, Dave opened his eyes and looked around. Now that night had fallen, the pine trees surrounding the cabin weren't vibrant and green anymore, but ominously tall and black, and the pale moon shone high over everything. There were crickets and mosquitos buzzing, water was rushing somewhere, and he could've sworn he saw a rabbit's shadow scampering across the dirt road, but when he looked again, there was nothing there.

Fireflies were nothing but tiny, buzzing, golden flecks of light that swam in the air all around him as the end of his cigarette dwindled into ash. Numbly, he wondered why he was so upset over Landry when he lived somewhere so beautiful - he had cigarettes, he had his bandmates, he had Virginia, all of which were perfectly good things to have. Not taking Landry to Nashville shouldn't have been a terribly big loss anyway. He always knew it was a far-fetched idea.

Then why did he feel so shitty?

He hadn't bothered to take down any of the Halloween decorations yet, and staring out into the lawn just made him think of her, so he opted to look down at the porch steps instead.

He couldn't help it: he made eye contact with the plastic skeleton lying dramatically over the steps and laughed quietly.

"You and me both, dude."

He hadn't intended to come to Virginia to feel this shitty, so the only option he gave himself was to move on from it.

You'll still have fun, he tried to convince himself. It'll be good to see Jimmy again. He'll want to get wasted. That will be fun.