and the stars will all come out

chapter forty-two! ☆

FOR A MOMENT, EVELYN ONLY STARED.

It suddenly hit Landry that this had been a very, very bad idea, but she couldn't rewind time.

"I'm sorry, what?" Evelyn finally said at some point, and she sounded confused more than anything. "Way to be completely out of the blue, man."

The words I'm sorry rose to her tongue, but adrenaline had her swallowing them, and she just gulped. Her heart was pounding hard, blood was rushing underneath her skin, making her warm all over, and she had this sense that she could only sprint as fast as she could out of the situation, or explode in a rage. Fight or flight.

Somehow, barely thinking about it, she instantly chose fight.

"I don't think it should be out of the blue if you've been paying attention," she said quietly.

The situation apparently catching up to her, Evelyn's brow furrowed. "The fuck are you saying?"

Rage rose up in her, and the last thing she remembered thinking before something cracked inside of her was fuck it, we're doing this.

"You can't possibly be that obtuse, Evelyn," she snapped. "Seriously? You treat everyone in the band like shit, every day since I've joined. Did you seriously not know this was coming? It's your way or the highway for every little thing and it's absolutely fucking exhausting. Most of the goddamn time no one can do anything right in your eyes, because you're explosive and mean and a fucking bitch!"

She didn't know when she started yelling, but she'd certainly started, and with her chest heaving and redness appearing in her face, she couldn't stop. Maybe she was approaching danger, but with everything flying off the handle so suddenly, she just didn't care anymore.

"Do you know how frustrating it is to be just trying to play my instrument or get through a gig but literally nothing I do is good enough for you? How fucking annoying it is to just have to listen to you scream at me and everyone else? Because it's either me, or it's Colby, or it's Sasha, it's literally everyone else in the band but you because I guess you think you're flawless or something. Like, are you a narcissist? Because I genuinely think you might be a fucking narcissist."

Landry gave her the most searing glare she could muster. "Take the hint, nobody is in the band because they want to be, they're just too scared of you to go anywhere else. Count me the fuck out."

She was done speaking now, and her hands awkwardly fell to her sides, no longer angrily gesticulating.

Evelyn's eyes were narrowed, smoke trailing lazily from the cigarette held between her fingers as she just stared at her, and worst of all, she said nothing as silence fell between them.

Landry was still breathing hard, ready to run into the front hall and slam the door behind her. It was starting to hit her now, that she'd actually flown off the handle and said everything that had been on her mind for the past several months. Everything that she'd vowed to never say aloud.

Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't believe I just said that.

The adrenaline was starting to wear off, being replaced by burning humiliation and an urge to flinch the longer she stared at Evelyn, but she willed herself not to break eye contact. If this was a standoff, she wasn't backing down.

Still staring at her, Evelyn put her cigarette out in the nearby ashtray, and inhaled deeply. Sighed, like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders and Landry was being very difficult. She still didn't say anything.

Just when Landry thought she might not actually say anything at all, Evelyn brought her hands together and clapped, slowly, mockingly.

"Well, it's nice to know you've actually got balls, Clarke," she said, finally. "I definitely thought you didn't. You thought I was hard on you? Maybe I was. But you? Well, I guess you've been hiding this whole drama queen act all this time, huh?"

Her tone grew sharper, more pointed. "You want out? Fine. You think I'm the problem? Fine. But don't you dare stand there and lecture me about how tough it is to be in this band when you have no idea what I've went through these past few months. Because you look fucking stupid yelling at me."

"You don't have any excuse for the way you act and you know it," Landry said stiffly. "Just fuck off, go to therapy or something. I'm out. I'm not coming back. Good luck finding another bassist."

I'm done. I'm done. I'm actually done.

She went to walk to the door with her guitar case in hand, but Evelyn said to her back, "He's just going to cheat on you, you know that, right?"

Landry knew the logical thing was to keep going and finally leave Evelyn's house for the last time, to go through with the thing she'd been dreaming of for the last few months, but something about her words made her stop in her tracks.

She turned, her heart still pounding hard. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Evelyn tilted her head, surveying her with some form of pity. "What, you didn't think I knew that you were dating Dave Grohl or something? 'Cause I sure as hell recognized him."

Landry blinked, taken aback, but the first thing that sprang to her lips was, "He thinks you're disgusting."

It was sharp and defensive, spoken with the intent of ending the conversation and getting out of the house as quickly as possible, but it was still the truth.

To her dismay, Evelyn kept talking, and Landry was still frozen.

"I don't give a fuck about what he thinks of me. Before you, he cheated on one of the girls from Veruca Salt with Winona Ryder, so if you think he actually cares about you, or that he's gonna give you a record deal or something, I'd probably rethink that. He'll get bored, and when he does and you're still broke, don't come crawling back to me."

Everything in Landry went suddenly cold, and she had the feeling that she was going to puke if she didn't run out of the house in the next three seconds.

Her ears were ringing.

No. She's lying. She's trying to mess with you.

Evelyn just smirked, clearly enjoying how Landry's heart had evidently just fallen to her feet. "Well, good luck with him."