A/N: hey lovely human beings, this is gonna be sad and possibly heart breaking because I just spent the last two hours screaming/crying into a pillow at 2:00am (don't ask you don't want to know) so I am not it the mood to write something good. My sleeping schedule is more dead that Jacks' first fox- Christ on a cracker (someone plz tell me they know the tv character who says that). Sorry I'm a tad crazy right now I've not clue what I'm doing anymore Jesus Christ ima go cry again...... anyways on with the story I guess.
TW: SELF HARM PLEASE DON'T REPORT IF YOU AREN'T WANTING TO READ THIS
The Prince of Hearts is the living embodiment of heartbreak and pain.
Ironic considering it's him who's laughing with a friend with booze and pretty women in a impressively fancy ball, while his Little Fox is curled up against the door of her room, bleeding, and crying. Her tears are like poisoned glue, sticking her hair to the sides of her face, and she's trembling with such vigour that if someone was to see her without context, they'd think she's about to go into trauma-induced shock. She can't breath properly- her chest aches and her head feels like she's being stepped on. Holding her wrist in one hand, Evangeline tries to breath. She didn't mean to cut that deep- she really didn't, all she wanted was a release, something to calm the flood of intrusive thoughts running through her mind, to stop the voices. There's blood. A lot of it. It's dripping down the arm she's clutching to her chest and staining the fabric. She sobs for two reasons: the mental pain, and the physical pain. In this instance there is no such without the other. She tries to move, to get up and find a scrap of fabric to wrap around the deep red-oozing slit she's created with a shard of glass from a mirror she's accidentally smashed earlier. Evangeline hears someone outside and immediately stops moving, trying to be quiet despite the throbbing pain.
"Little Fox? Are you in there?" Jacks' voice travels through the door, and she nearly lets out a choked sob, but puts a hand over her mouth to stop herself. "Love?" He sounds a mixture between concerned and curious. He can tell something is wrong.
"Yes. I'm in here." Her voice is quiet and broken, so she has to say it twice for him to here.
"Can I come in?" Her hand has gone numb. She feels like an idiot- why why why why why why why why.
"No." Her response is too quick. He tries to open the door but can't because of where she's sat.
"Open the door." His voice is hard, and she wants to cry again.
After another five minutes, she moves, knowing she'll faint if she leaves the wound any longer. The Prince of Hearts bursts through the door, first noticing the blood on the floor, then on her dress, then dripping from her hand which is around her other wrist.
"Evangeline." The look on his face makes her wish she's let herself faint and eventually bleed out.
"I need gauze. Or cloth..." she takes a shaking breath, the lump in her throat growing as she refuses to look at him.
"You need help." He doesn't say it in a mean way, more with the voice of a broken lover or distraught pet owner when their dog gets put down.
"I'll get it myself then." She sniffs, refusing to say a word that makes her sound broken. Not that she needs words to prove that. He stops her from moving, his facial expression hard to work out as he quickly acquires thick gauze. He then nods to the bathroom, and she goes there, fearing her speaking will make her faint or cry. She sits next to the sink, hand stopping the blood from draining out of her already half-limp body. Jacks is quiet as he cleans the dry blood away, careful not to hurt her more. It's scaring her how quiet he is.
"I know what you're thinking. Just say it." Evangeline speaks as he wraps gauze in thick layers around her injured wrist.
"Say what?" She hates his voice.
"You know what." She breaths and swipes a thumb over the bandage slowly. "That I shouldn't have done it. That I'm stupid for it. Broken. Selfish." She hasn't looked him in the eye this entire interaction.
"You're not any of those things, Little Fox. You're hurting. No one can decide whether or not to hurt. Anything alive can hurt. Anything human can. You are human, not broken. You aren't selfish because the only person that matters to you should be you, before everyone else. A broken person wouldn't feel that pain, they'd cause it for others." Jacks pushes the hair behind her ear, pulling it away from her face. "I'm proud of you." His words shock her.
"What?" Evangeline isn't sure if she heard that last part right.
"I'm proud of you." He closes his eyes and seems to come out of himself, his face hurt and heartbreak and gorgeous and curious.
"Why?" She's still stroking her wound, an automatic soothing-type thing she supposes.
"Because," he breaths and opens his eyes. "Because you didn't give up. You were at you're lowest, and you didn't give up. No one should get to the point where they feel as if they need to-" as much as Jacks is up-front with his thoughts on this, it seems to hurt him to say it "I hope to never see you like that again, Little Fox, but I'd be prouder to know you are surviving. Even living." Evangeline isn't sure when they ended up like this, but his arms are on either side of her, and their foreheads are together- a quiet moment that makes her heart jolt and suddenly... tears.
"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry... I- I-" she's hiccupping and most likely looking like a train wreck.
"Shh. Don't apologise for what the world forced on you. And definitely don't apologise for not being able to keep it all in." Jacks pulls her into his arms, and she slides of the counter, standing in-front of him and wrapping her arms around his middle, head against his chest.
"I- I didn't mean to-" she isn't sure if he can hear her, her words muffled by his shirt.
He strokes her hair and lets her cry even more, sniffling and sobbing into his chest. They end up in bed, his arms around her- her curled up in the foetal position with her hands bundled against her chest, hair all over the cream pillow and eyes closed tight.
A/N: not gonna lie, I'm crying again- this hit a little too hard. My pm's (private messages) are always open if any of you felt like this story was relatable... If you just want to vent to someone I can listen, you can ask my to not even reply if you want, just listen, unless you want some support- keep in mind, I'm not a professional, but I think I'm fairly good at giving advice, and I don't want any of you ever feeling like you don't belong, or as if self harm is the only answer. I'm here for you lovelies! Xxx
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Apples & Foxes
FanfictionIt's basically as the title says. I'll take any suggestions and try and write them for you, and i will mainly be doing jacks x evangeline, but you can make suggestions involving other OUABH and TBONA characters and if you want you can ask me to add...
