priorities-2

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I hear a tap at the door, "Come in," I call out. My private nurse Misty backs incarrying a tray of tea and sugar cookies, "I made them myself," she says proudly. Imanage a smile but it quickly turns to a quivering lip. "Don't be sad," she encourages."John will be visiting soon.""He doesn't care about me," I confess miserably. "He didn't want me coming withhim to Niagara when I was carrying his baby, why's he going to want me now?""Did I hear you correctly that you're filing for divorce?" Misty asks."Heck no, I was just threatening him, but it didn't phase him, on the contrary, Ithink it delighted him. It's the last thing I'm going to do.""Good! Good on you," Misty takes my side. I like her. Not just because she's beentaking my side, but because she's good company since Carrie's been gone. Carrie is inEurope with Hunter Hot Pants. (Two Minute Marzipan) came up with that name in a fitof jealousy and it stuck.I leave the king bed and rifle through my bag for new pyjamas. I don't want himseeing me in the same clothes I wore at the hospital and I take a shower so I don't feelself-conscious for his visit.I reward myself with a sip of tea and tiny bite of Misty's cookie. It's savoury andmelts in my mouth. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I ate. I takeanother bite and I realize I'm not eating for two anymore, how sad is that! I starteddeveloping feelings for my tadpole. She was going to be my ally against John, myshopping buddy, my mini me. Now I feel hollow. Maybe I should take Carrie andHunter up on their invite to watch Hunter's brother Slasher in concert. It beats stayinghere feeling sorry for myself. Nothing will bring my shopping buddy back. I'll just waitfor John to go back to Niagara before I do it.There's a knock on the door and I hear Misty saying to John she's going to step outwhile he's here. I haven't heard any other voices so I'm hoping he didn't bring TwoMinute Marzipan with him. He taps on my door before waking in, "Hi Rita."John's a head taller than me and completely defined with muscular ripples in all theright places. "Hi," I reply in monotone.

It's important to me, he knows how upset I am over losing his baby. I'm bracing myself thinking he's going to tell me he's returning back to Niagara with Leonardo now that I've been discharged. I sit quietly waiting in anticipation for news I don't want. He doesn't say anything. "Is Leonardo or Jack with you?" I ask him making conversation. "No, Leonardo had to go back to Edmonton and Jack left for Niagara without me, I told him I'll meet up with him later," he explains. John and Jack are inseparable, playing on the same team (pardon the pun) and they came together when they heard about me losing the baby. 

I'm surprised, knowing John doesn't care about me. I don't get why he didn't leave when Jack did, "You stayed behind?" I'm completely baffled. "Can I join you," he asks without waiting for my reply. He appears unhappy and toe/heels his shoes off before sliding in under the covers on the other side of the bed. He snuggles close to me as we face each other. I'm aghast, "Your upset?" I ask. "You cared?" "What do you think," he says sarcastically. "You peg me as some insensitive sod," he accuses me. "You said yourself we were just a distraction to you," I repeat his own words to me back to him. "Everything I did was for us, securing a strong future for you and the baby. I wanted to do well in Niagara so I could get a contract like Brandon. (The guy who used me, a.k.a. Two Minute Marzipan.) "I was under the impression you didn't care," I tell him. "You're wrong," he says pulling me in closer. My anger towards John (my Ten Minute Man) dissipates and I start thinking maybe we'll have some sort of future together. I stroke his chin and kiss him tenderly on the lips. It feels better to be sad with someone, then alone. "I'm glad I'm wrong," I admit to him. He stays in bed with me for a very long time. Misty has already returned and asked us if we want anything before leaving us alone again to turn the television on for herself in the living room. "I want to move with you to Niagara," I tell him. "I want a divorce," he advocates. "We're young, there's nothing keeping us together anymore, I'm not in love with you Mya.

"I am in love with you! You get into bed with me while I'm mourning the loss of our baby, and ask me for a divorce?" "When you put it that way, it's just that we're so young," he backs off. "Just go," I tell him. "I'm sorry," he says. "I just thought that with the loss, there's nothing keeping us together." "Except my feelings for you," I tell him, "You might not have any for me, but I do for you. Be with as many girls as you want, treat me like crap, I will stay here waiting for you. One day you're going to realize I love you more than anyone else ever has and if it's not too late, you will come back," I forecast. I'm suffering raw emotion and he has the maturity of a twig as he disregards my fragile state and gets close to me one last time, tears are streaming from my eyes, "I'm going back to Niagara, you can visit when you're feeling better," my husband says to me, as he walks out the door. I never felt as distant from him as I do now. A few minutes later Misty timidly taps on the door, "Are you okay Mya?" I'm not, I feel used but I'm not ready to talk about it, I get up, "Never better," I lie as I start packing a bag. I text Carrie telling her I want to go to Europe, I need to go. She says she'll have Hunter arrange everything, I have to sit tight and she will give me a time to be at the airport, as simple as that.