priorities-2

15

They don't keep mothers in for long. Carrie is discharged the following morning.We drive her back to the flat in silence. The baby is sleeping peacefully next to herin the new car seat. Ted found a one bedroom in the same building as us, not necessarilyas far as Carrie would have liked it, but better than nothing.We bring Holly into her new room, painted pink, with a beautiful white crib. Tedhas economic and mathematical equations painted all over her walls. Her baby mobilehas whole numbers dangling overhead, playing rock-a-by-baby in three differentlanguages.I wisely kept Misty's number so I can have assistance with the baby. I just sworeher to confidentiality so nothing gets back to Hunter. Misty said she will do the nights; Imanage during the day. It's a balancing act, because I try hard to keep it quiet for Ted toget his rest and study.Ted's taken quite the interest in the baby, playing with her, feeding her, changingher brief. He almost treats Holly like his own, it's amazing. If I need a break, I go seeCarrie and we hang out together, the odd time she'll ask me how Holly is doing andexpress caring, but overall, I think everything is working fine.Holly is four months old to the day when I get my first call from Slasher, "Hi Bud,"he says quietly."Hi Bud," I say hesitantly. I miss him so much it hurts."My album's done," he tells me."Congratulations," I'm pleased for him, the baby starts crying in the background."My manager wants to invite you back on tour," he tells me."Do you want me back on tour with you?" I ask.The baby starts crying louder in the background, "How do I know it's not mine?"He asks."Its name is Holly," I inform him, "and sadly, she's not yours'," I say truthfully. Iwant to tell him the truth so badly, but I can't because if he says something to Hunter,then I can lose both of them."I'd love to tour with you again, but now I come with an entourage," I warn him."If you're bringing Ted, I don't want you on my tour." He puts his foot down.

"No, just Misty the nurse, and Holly.""Okay, I'm good with that," he says. "The manager will pay you 102.5K this year,but you'll have more concerts.""That's more than generous," I tell him."We start next month, North America first, last leg will be in Europe.""That works, see you soon Bud."He hangs up. Now I break it to Ted that I'm going to be gone for ten months or so. Iexpected him to be upset, but Carrie surprised me more with her disappointment. "Youcan drop in on our tour, all you have to do is pick a place and we'll see you," I reassureher.She hasn't really been herself lately. She complains it's the pressure from schooland that she's working really hard but I get the impression she misses the baby way morethan she's letting on. I love her and want to help her, but selfishly, I can't give Holly upanymore, she just means way too much to me.The first concert is in Vancouver, British Columbia. We land and Slasher has a carwaiting for us at the airport. He booked my nurse and I into two adjoining rooms. Heensured a crib was provided. Her name is painted on it, so I'm assuming it's coming withus wherever we travel.He makes no effort to contact me or see me, so I give him his space and wait until Isee him backstage. If I could do one thing, it would be to tell him that I never cheated onhim, but that one string could unravel the entire story.I say Bye to Misty and kiss the baby, before I head to our first concert. A car iswaiting for me downstairs, Slasher's inside.He hands me a drink, "Hi," he says quietly.I take the drink and down it, "You're not breastfeeding?" He asks suspiciously.I remember breastfeeding mothers don't drink, "I'm bottle feeding," I explain. "Youshould come up and see the baby.""I don't have an interest in another man's baby," he spits."How insensitive of me, sorry," I say, "It's just that she's so cute." He honestly looksheart broken, "Can I have a hug?" I ask.

He abides by my wishes and slides closer to me before engulfing me in his arms.He doesn't let go. It's a very affectionate embrace, "I've missed you, Bud," he says intomy hair."I've missed you so much too," I admit.We arrive at the concert and are escorted by his goons to the change rooms. I let thestaff dress me, poke me, paint me, do whatever they want all the while imagining tellingthe truth to Slasher. 

I would start with, 'I never cheated on you, and I never will.''The baby?''Carrie's''Why didn't you tell me''She wanted to terminate the pregnancy, it might be your brothers, or it might not''So, you're taking care of a baby that's not even yours and you didn't sleep withTed''Yes.'Total fantasy! If I don't tell him he'll be with someone else in no time. He mightalready be. "Are you dating anyone?" I ask."No just shagging, nothing serious," he says."So, you've moved on," I clarify."Did I have a choice," he asks with edge to his voice.