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I'm hollow inside, it's like someone scraped my insides out.We started by visiting her family. We knock on Will's door and unable to hide ourshattered expressions he invites us in, "What's wrong," he asks worried."Carrie, she," I can't continue."Ended her life," Ted finishes."That's crazy," Gwen says looking up at Will, "When did you last speak to her?""A week ago, maybe two at the most," replies Will."Was she depressed?" Gwen asks."She didn't seem to be," he says reflecting back. "She hasn't visited us in a longtime.""She was pregnant," I say miserably. "She wasn't telling anyone. She wanted toterminate the pregnancy but I talked her into keeping the baby.""She had a baby?" Will asks dumbfounded. "That makes me,""A grandfather, Yes Carrie had a baby," Ted confirms."I'm a grandfather," he repeats in shock."Her name is Holly and she's four months old," Ted informs him. "She held thebaby for a while and then I'm assuming shortly after ended her life.""Sounds like postpartum depression," Gwen diagnoses. "You guys didn't get herany help?""She was studying and seemed to be doing better, I never suspected it" Tedexplains. It's almost like he has to defend himself."Where's the baby?" Will asks."We managed to contact Misty our nurse who is watching her right now. I've beenher sole guardian since her birth. Carrie and I had an agreement that I would care for herwith no restrictions regarding visitation, she could see her anytime. She was happy withthis," I explain."Very happy," Will says in sarcastic disbelief. I cant' help but feel defensive. "Wasyour arrangement legalized?""Not yet," I start panicking."You're not family," he points out. "We will take the baby," he insists

I know I have no legal rights at this point. I could kick myself for not cementingeverything before this travesty happened. "You can't!""Find a court in this country that will stop me," he thunders.Ted looks at me, "You have to give him the baby. What about the funeral?" Hecroaks."We'll arrange it and give you the details once you've brought the baby," Will says.He pales in appearance, like he might faint. Ted ushers me out the front door, we'll beback.I know we are doing the right thing by giving the baby to her family but everythingis so unfinished. We don't know if the father is Hunter orLeonardo's, Carrie hardly everspent time with her father, they were only united a short time ago, it's like we're givingHolly up to strangers.We arrive back home and I start packing up her stuff. "What are you doing?" asksMisty."We have to give Holly to Carrie's dad, he's the closest living relative and he'sdemanding to have her."Misty is shocked but helps me pack. I'm crying the entire time, it's more than justlosing Carrie, I'm also losing Holly. Ted drives me back, knocking on their door.Everything happens so quickly. They take the bag and they pull her from my arms. I'mchoked up. Ted escorts me back to the car. I sit there while he plucks the car seat fromthe back, it might as well have been my heart.Ted returns to the car with a slip of paper that has the funeral arrangements on it.He says, "I spoke with Will, he might consider visitation for Holly, he said he'll be intouch."Hardly any consolation, my body turns to lead. We go home and make calls to allof her friends, Manchester publishing company, anyone who knew her. It's going to be alarge funeral.