Faded

10. Irreversibility | 不可逆性

Izumi:

I didn't struggle, not because your grip was ironclad. The problem was that I didn't understand what was happening until the very end. I'm more than certain that if I had gone into the forest with some unfamiliar volunteer or someone I barely knew, I would have fought with all my strength to break free. With one free hand, I would have grabbed branches and rocks from the ground, bitten, kicked, pushed—I would have done anything to get away. From what? I didn't even know.

However, there's no point in speculating about what I would have done if it had been someone else.

I was in love with you. You knew that. And that's why I believed until the end that you were just joking. The smile on your face was nothing more than an attempt to reassure me. You pulled my hand, and I followed without resistance. I didn't say a word to you. I thought that you would come up with something, find a way out of the forest, and we would return. The prospect of being seen as a suicide by those close to me didn't exactly thrill me.

Silently, I panicked.

"I hope we find our ribbons on the trees soon, meet someone who will show us the way back," I thought anxiously.

Because of my fear of the forest, I didn't realize that we weren't simply walking while holding hands to avoid getting separated. You were pulling me by my wrist, and my body resisted as if it subconsciously sensed that the main enemy wasn't the forest, the snakes, the foxes, or the wolves. The main enemy was you.

I stumbled over something, fell to my knees on the damp ground, and you didn't even stop. Like a robot, you dragged me across the ground.

You turned around, grabbed my shoulders, and made me stand up. We continued walking.

"How will we get out?" I nervously whispered, noticing that it was getting darker and darker.

"Don't worry, we'll be there soon," you answered without looking at me.

Your words had a calming effect on me. Although, at that moment, I didn't know that you meant something completely different.

I grew tired of walking. On one hand, I wanted to tell you about it, but I stayed silent, thinking that it wasn't easy for you either. After all, we were in the same situation. But at that moment, I didn't realize that I had already become your victim.

It was a strange feeling. We walked for so long, but nothing around us changed. The same trees, the same bushes. It was as if I was going insane.

"We've arrived," you suddenly said.

I looked around.

"No, we're still in the forest, and it's unknown how far we've gone," I replied sharply. Did you decide to joke again?

"And you thought I would take you back?" you smirked darkly.

I remained silent. What was happening seemed like a dream. But I kept believing that we would find our way out of there. In the middle of the trees stood a small house decorated in traditional Japanese style.

"This used to be the home of one of the national park rangers, but this location made his work difficult, so he left or ended his life. But it's also a samurai's house," you casually smiled as if we were on a tour.

"So, if we stay here overnight, will someone find us later?" I asked with hope.

Your expression changed, but you didn't answer my question.

"There's everything we need inside. The only issue is that there's no electricity, and it gets cold at night. But that's fixable, so I don't think you'll have a bad time here."

Once again, you misled me.

"How do you know all this? Have you been here before?" my voice sounded strange, unrecognizable to me.

And once again, that smile on your face. Nervousness made me feel nauseous.

"I did the repairs myself. I gathered the necessary items. Having gone through such a long and challenging journey, now you understand how much effort I put into this 'architectural project.'"

The absurdity of the situation made me laugh at your explanation.

"You know, it's both funny and sad. We're lost in a dangerous forest where the chances of being found are close to zero, yet you continue to mock me. I wish I had your courage," I said sarcastically.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it soon enough."

I will always remember that strange smile you gave me before plunging me into true hell.