Faded

11. Blood | 血液

Izumi:

You were right. The house in the middle of the forest had everything for a comfortable human life, except for heating, light, and communication with the outside world. Each day spent in "captivity," I discovered something new. And with each realization, I came to understand that you had been preparing for this for so long and so meticulously.

The first few days we spent together in the forest felt like a dream. I barely remember anything from that time. It seems like I kept repeating that we should try to find a way out, saying that we would be found, we just needed to wait. But in response to my words about "an exit," you always remained silent.

Maybe it was the eighth day. Again, I don't remember. I saw you putting on a medical mask, leaving with an empty backpack, and returning by evening. You didn't say a word, didn't give any explanations. Do you understand the level of stress I experienced alone in the midst of suffocating uncertainty? You shouldn't have left me alone.

You came back when it was dark. You brought all my belongings from the apartment where I lived with my friend.

"How is this possible?" I asked, getting closer.

"I was told," you calmly replied.

That's when I began to gradually recover from the shock I had experienced being here without any explanations for a week. I finally realized that everything was wrong.

This shouldn't be happening.

The joke couldn't last this long.

"Do you know the way to the city?" I asked, not believing what was happening.

"Otherwise, we wouldn't have survived. I know the way to the city, but I won't go back there. Someone gives me the necessary items; we meet at the Aokigahara station."

For some time, I wandered uncertainly around the house, inspecting it, looking around, and listening to the deafening silence. Several times, I replayed in my memory the moments when you left. I couldn't plan every step; I simply didn't have time for that.

You took a ribbon with you and tied it around the trees.

That thought made me flee. Because if you could easily leave and come back to the forest, then I could do it too.

I ran through the thickets and bushes. There was no proper trail there.

Touching the ribbon with my hand, which literally led me back to my old life, I thought several times about how, right now, you were casually walking from the city to meet me. I came up with words I would say to you in farewell, perhaps some reproaches for what you had done wrong. But most importantly, even before completing half of the journey, I was already happy about how easy it all turned out to be. I told myself how foolish I had been to stay in the forest during all that time when it was so easy to leave. I laughed and even made fun of myself. And of you too.

But suddenly, the ribbon ran out. Its end was tied to a massive tree, even though I didn't run for more than fifteen minutes. Gasping for breath, I nervously looked around.

"So, you decided to leave me alone?" you said grimly, gripping the same red ribbon in your hands. I couldn't see your smile because of the mask on your face, but your gray eyes burned with hatred towards me.

I didn't say anything in response. One of the dumbest ideas came to my mind. To run away. I thought that you would chase after me and thus lead me to the tourist trail. And there, there would be people who would help me.

But I underestimated you. You had the predatory reflexes, quickly grabbing my hair and making me fall to the ground.

Whether out of anger or fear, I began pushing you away, tearing the mask off your face, and kicking you to break free. But you were stronger, pinning my hands and hitting me in the face.

I tasted the metallic flavor of blood on my lips. No one had ever hit me before. The sight of blood on my face confused you. With trembling hands, you started to gently stroke my cheeks in a soothing manner, and then you slightly lowered yourself.

I could see your face even closer. You make me want to draw you. Your skin is so soft and fair, and there is a pleasant scent of some floral oils emanating from you. Your lips are so close, and deep down, I don't mind if you kiss me in the next moment.

Closing my eyes, I forcefully strike your face with my forehead, and you instantly press yourself into my shoulder. I knew I had hit you much harder than you hit me.

How easily everything good can be destroyed, Hideo. How easily love can turn into fear.

Enduring that moment, you rise, still towering over my body, still gripping my hands. There is blood on your nose. The consequences of my strike. It gives me strength. In that second, I realized that despite all my fear and pain, I would fight with you.

There is so much hatred within me. As if you are a stranger. Maybe you really are?

Hideo:

I couldn't anticipate that you would try to leave. I thought you were still too frightened to wander through the forest. But I must admit, you were always unpredictable.

I caused you physical pain, something I will never forgive myself for.

In that moment, your eyes were so clear, filled with aggression, though you were always so gentle with me.