Faded

14. Fade away | 自殺

Izumi:

I decided to act differently. To become free, I needed to regain your trust. And so, we started talking more, you stayed away less, spending almost all your time with me. It seemed like I was getting used to the silence of the forest, the smell of rain, the absence of sunlight and open sky. And to the "new" you as well. In our previous earthly life, you were my first true love, but after I ended up in the forest, my feelings towards you changed. That's why I needed to get used to you all over again. I succeeded until one day, you told me that you were called in for questioning by the police regarding my case.

"I told them that lately you looked depressed, spoke less, and became withdrawn. They believed me, of course. Your case is closed. Now you are officially considered a suicide," you said with an iron calmness in your voice. I couldn't handle it. I wanted so badly to strangle you. I didn't have the strength to do it.

You spoke about it with such cold composure. I still don't understand how someone could act like that. On the day I went to the forest with you, you hacked my social media account, wrote a farewell post in my name. I had no idea while you were typing those deceitful words. I had already left my house and was walking towards you. Naturally, they believed you. You brilliantly planned your crime down to the smallest detail. It's an art to change masks so skillfully, constantly lying, transforming, and arousing no suspicions.

The present-day psychopaths could learn from you.

Hideo:

If only you knew how difficult it was for me to maintain composure and outward indifference. I was fully aware of what I was doing. And it made me sick. I tried for a long time to find justification for myself, but I couldn't. I convinced myself that when I'm gone, you will forgive me. Truly forgive me. Maybe you'll be able to understand my feelings and fears. No, you can't. I know for sure. You will understand.