Little Secrets, Little Bucky

Mama's Steady

TW: This chapter contains a conversation about implied SA. There is no description of it, it's simply implied that it happened, and Bucky is reassured that it won't happen again.

"How was therapy?" Y/n asked gently. She had a feeling it had been a difficult session, Bucky had come home and flopped down on the couch about 10 minutes ago. He hadn't said a word since then and he looked about two seconds away from slipping. He let out a frustrated huff in response to her question and crawled into her lap, hiding his face in her shoulder. "Oh angel, it was that bad?" He nodded his head and sniffled, trying to adjust himself in her arms. She easily took over, shifting him in her lap until he was comfortable. "Why don't you take a nap, hmm? Mama will take care of you."

"Does that mean I can let go?" He whispered, doing his best to sound big.

"Of course you can," she whispered back. "You can do whatever you want."

"I wanna be little." He leaned back to look at Y/n, big blue eyes pleading for security. "I want, I-" He couldn't find the words for what he needed, too drained from the events of the day.

But she understood, just like she always did. "I know," she said softly, pulling him as close as she could. "I'm here baby, you can let go. I'll take good care of you."

"Can we go rock?" He asked in a teary voice. "Just for a little bit?"

"As long as you need, sweet boy," she assured him. "Let's go get cozy."

She carried him to his nursery and saw the way that he looked longingly at the changing table. She didn't hesitate to lay him down and slip a pacifier in his mouth, tapping the mobile above him to keep his attention. Bucky didn't bother to fight it any longer. Mama was there, and Mama would keep him safe and comfy until he was ready to be a big boy again. It was time to rest and let Mama make it all better.

"How about a pull-up and some comfy jammies?" She cooed, gently stroking his cheek.

He nodded his head, unwilling to lose his pacifier even for as long as it would take to respond to his mama. The weight on his tongue was familiar and reassuring, soothing him as he settled down. The repetitive motion of sucking gave him comfort that few other things could. He felt his Mama beginning to undress him, but he paid it no mind. He just focused on the slowly spinning forest animals above him, trusting that his mama meant him no harm.

Y/n hadn't seen her baby so calm in weeks. He was completely relaxed, even as she changed him. The work he'd been doing with his therapist to unpack his newly recovered memories was clearly having positive results, and she was incredibly proud. Even when she removed his boxers, he didn't get frightened like he had the last few times. Instead, he simply glanced at her for reassurance, happily cooing from behind his pacifier when she kissed his belly button.

She lifted him into her arms once he was dressed in soft sweatpants and an oversized Bluey shirt, and settled him into the rocking chair with her. "Mama's really proud of you, did you know that?" Her baby gazed up at her with big blue eyes, completely in awe at his mama's soft words. "You're working so hard to get better, my brave Bucky bear."

He pulled his paci out of his mouth and leaned in closer to his mama, whispering to her like he was sharing a secret. "Talked about Mama today. With Doctor Kay."

"Oh really?"

"Mhmm. Mama's not like Mommy. Not even a little bit."

Y/n felt tears spring to her eyes at the mention of his former 'caregiver'. No matter how many times they discussed her, or how long ago it had been, she would always have the same reaction when she had to think about what had happened to her baby.