Little Secrets, Little Bucky

Best Christmas Ever

Y/n woke up the next morning and heard a little sniffle coming from the bundle of blankets beside her in the bed. She jolted fully awake and turned Bucky over, worried that he'd had a nightmare or been hurt. He was clinging to his blankie and his bunny rabbit and there were tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"What happened, sweet boy?" She asked, cupping his face with one hand.

"Mama got tired of me?" He asked, fighting the urge to get close to her and hold on tight. The last thing he wanted was to make her upset. "Woke up an' Mama wasn't holding me. Mama's always holding me." Every time he'd woken up in her bed so far, his Mama had been holding him close and the break in routine was frightening.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," Y/n soothed, pulling him into her arms. "Mama didn't get tired of you, I'll hold you as long as you want." Bucky buried his face in his mama's chest trying his best to settle down, but Y/n could tell that he was still worried. "Honey, I promise I wasn't upset or sick of you. I just didn't want to wake you up last night when I got back in bed. Mama had to make sure that everything would be perfect for your first little Christmas."

Bucky burst into tears, feeling guilty as he realized that now nothing would be perfect because he'd been so sensitive over something that wasn't even true. He managed to get himself under control after a few minutes and then felt even worse because of the tears. "Sorry Mama," he said quietly. "Didn't mean to cry. Ruined it all."

Y/n sat up, bringing Bucky with her and pulling him into her lap. "You didn't ruin a thing. It's okay to cry, especially when you get scared. Do you remember why babies cry?"

"To tell their mamas that they need help," Bucky echoed the familiar phrase.

"That's right," Y/n said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "There's nothing wrong with letting yourself feel sad or scared. You haven't ruined Christmas. If it's really that important, we can start over okay?"

"Really?" Bucky looked so unsure, it was breaking Y/n's heart. "Can try again?"

"You can always try again," Y/n reassured him. Bucky let out a sigh of relief and Y/n counted down to give him a new start. "Merry Christmas, baby boy."

"Merry Christmas, Mama," Bucky said happily, hugging her tightly in her lap. They sat there for a while longer so that Bucky could soak in the affection he wanted and after a bit he was ready to start the day. "Need a change, Mama," he said shyly, shifting a little bit in Y/n's lap. His wet pull-up felt icky and he was eager to go see his uncles.

Bucky had never actually asked for a change before, he'd either cried or Y/n had just figured it out on her own. The fact that he felt safe enough to actually ask her made her heart swell. She squeezed him for a second, pressing a kiss to his head. "Well then let's get you all cleaned up and cozy, hmm?" Bucky nodded and Y/n got him changed quickly so that they could go out to have breakfast.

The moment she stepped out of her suite with Bucky in her arms he scrambled to the ground, running to the huge pile of presents under the tree. "Look it!" He shouted. "Look Mama! Presents!" He saw the empty plate by the couch and ran over. "Santa ate the cookies too!"

"He sure did!" Sam called from the kitchen. "How about you pick out a present to open while your mama and I finish getting breakfast on the table?"

Bucky excitedly nodded his head and came to drag Steve from where he was sitting at the table. "Uncle Steve, you gotta help me pick!" He said happily. "There's too many choices!"

Y/n watched as her brother lovingly helped Bucky pick out a present and carried him over to the kitchen counter to open it while she and Sam got out plates. He tore open the wrapping paper and the box, revealing a big blue dump truck. It actually lit up and if you pushed a button on top it would honk its horn. Bucky squealed with excitement and called for his mama to show her the new toy.