Just For You

Chapter 8: Zeus

The grandfather clock in the corner of the therapist's office is really fucking loud. Its little ticks make this silence more awkward.

          Panacea, our therapist, is staring at Hera and me from her cushioned chairs. Hera sits about a foot from me on this couch with her legs crossed. We drove together, but we didn't say much. We haven't really spoken since last night.

          I slept in our bed, coming in a few hours after she dozed off. When she left, I waited about an hour before seeing her swimming. Doing laps in the pool, some light music echoing off the walls of the indoor pool room.

          Seeing her being at peace and relaxing, I decided not to bother her, heading toward my office to read over some books.

          Here we are in this room, where we are supposed to be talking, being so fucking silent. Not a peep. The only thing that has been said in the past 10 minutes was greetings. We introduced ourselves, saying how long we'd been together, but that didn't take long. I expected Panacea to ask more intricate questions.

          The woman in question clicked her pen open and wrote something down in the journal in her lap. That's not anxiety-inducing at all.

          The brown skin woman looked back at us, clasping her hands over her lap. Her brown eyes looked at Hera and then back to me repeatedly.

          She smiled at us. "I'm glad you two decided to branch out and ask for help rather than deciding to divorce. The first step to a happy marriage is locating that there is a problem and that it needs to be assessed. You wouldn't believe how many couples divorce and end up back together stronger than ever."

          From my peripheral, I saw Hera lean over on the arm of the couch, placing her chin in her hand. She seems uninterested. That's not good.

          "So, who would like to start?" Panacea asked quietly.

           She didn't look like she was looking for an answer immediately. She seems to be a patient woman, which is good in our case because she will need a lot of it.

          I wait for a few beats thinking Hera might just sputter out all my faults, but she remains silent. Clearing my throat, I decided to go first.

          "Hera doesn't trust me-"

          Before I could continue, I heard her scoff. "Probably because I know she's fucking her assistant. Very cliche, by the way."

          She stays quiet the entire morning, and that's the first thing she brings up. A fucking lie she created in her head.

          I don't let my anger show on my face. Giving Panacea a tight smile, I continue, kind of surprised she didn't make a remark on what Hera said. "I don't have the time or energy to fuck someone else. And besides, I have no desire to fuck anyone who isn't you. I have never once looked at, talked to, or touched another woman in a way that would make you think that. I feel like this runs deeper than you believing I'm a cheater. You don't love me anymore, and you're trying to find ways to make it seem like leaving me was my fault rather than the fact that it was even possible for you to fall out of love with me."

          I'm not blaming her. I could never blame her. I just want her to stop believing I'm some kind of monster who would ruin my marriage with her by sleeping with someone else.

          Her eyes were glazed over; it looked like she was about to cry. Was I right? Does she actually not love me anymore? Panacea remained quiet the entire time.

          "That's not true. I still love you. I-I just miss how we used to be. We aren't... we've changed things about our relationship that I loved about us, and I hate it." She looked down in her lap.

          "Like what?" I can't help but ask. "What is missing in our marriage?"

          "Hera, don't answer that." Panacea budded in at the worst possible time.

          I frowned at her. "What the hell do you mean? Don't answer that. Isn't this what this whole thing is about? Us talking things out."

          She nodded her head. "It is, which is why I've been observing you both. I know exactly what Hera wants. But if she tells you, and you do it, it will seem disingenuous. It won't mean anything. You need to figure it out, Zeus."

          My frown deepens. "I somehow feel like you're doing this because you want me to pay for more sessions."

          Hera laughed. "I'm sure the billionaire can afford it."

          "I think you two should separate for a while."

          I turned to look at Hera to see her reaction. Her eyes widened slightly, but I was unsure if she was interested. Did she like that idea? Does she want to separate?

          I turned fully to her, but she didn't meet my gaze. "D-do you want to do that? Separate?" I ask huskily. I will probably shut down if she says yes. Separation could lead to divorce, and I'll lose her forever.

          "My feelings for you are really complicated right now. I think I need some time alone to figure them out." she finally said, her voice strained.

          I looked back to Panacea. If I keep looking at Hera, I will cry and will cry in front of her, and I will cry in front of Panacea. I can't break it right now. Despite my heart breaking little piece by little painful piece, I can't be mad at her. I can never be mad at her.

          "A separation doesn't mean failure," Panacea started, but I barely listened. "It just means you want to know each other—the new you. You've known each other for a very long time, and you've grown into different people. Despite sounding bad aloud, choosing to be apart can lead you two to a happy marriage."

          As much as I hate this idea. Hera seems to be considering it. I need to give her what she wants. I need to find a way for her to trust me again. For her to look at me like she used to. Like she loved me. Like I was the only one for her.

          I grit my teeth, trying my hardest to force the words out of my mouth. "D-do you want the penthouse or another apartment?" I finally give in. clearly, if she wants to separate, she will want to be far from me.

          I'm willing to pay for it. Everything. Food, furniture, the apartments, the rent. All of it if it makes her happy.

            I finally looked at her. She looked at me with a shocked expression, like she couldn't believe I would agree. I hate that. I hate that she feels like a prisoner with me.

            "Another apartment. I need to be free of you in every way."

          Free of me? She really does feel like a prisoner. Shit. "fine."

          Panacea cleared her throat, sensing the tension, I assume. "You two come back here for the next session, and we'll talk about how things are going with the new adjustments and if it made things worse or better."

          I didn't have the energy to say anything back. My entire world has just shattered.