𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐀 · "𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞."
After losing her job and being left at the altar, Dr. Fiona Page is left to pick up the pieces of a "picture perfect" lif...
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CW: Discussions of domestic violence and abuse, trauma, PTSD, smut, spit kink, light degradation, multiple orgasms, he talks her through it.
I used a lot of my own experience in an abusive relationship as the basis for Fiona's relationship with John. It's been hard to revisit this stuff even though it was so long ago and I'm married to the most wonderful and caring human. The trauma and gaslighting I experienced is buried deep. My ex was not violent toward me until the end, but he was violent around me. And I made excuses for him because I didn't think it could happen to me.
Remember, that just because he doesn't hit you doesn't mean he won't hit you. Hitting the walls around you, destroying your things, controlling your money, who you spend your time with, bashing your hobbies and interests, telling you to cut people out of your life... it's ALL abusive behavior and it's all designed to control and intimidate. And this shit always escalates. Abuse is about power, never about love. These men are experts at manipulation and charm, and they will use your love for them to their advantage. Every. Single.
It is very hard to leave these relationships and women are often judged for staying when abusive men keep their partners specifically isolated. Because if you're isolated, you can't tell anyone what's going on. It's insidious and methodical, and these men know exactly what they're doing. My final straw was when my ex got blackout drunk after we had a fight. He looked at me, and said, "I could kill you, you know."
I left that night and never looked back. I was lucky to have parents to take me in and to moderate my conversations with my ex and to make sure that I was never alone with him.
There is help. If you need to get out, visit thehotline.org.
Sorry, this got really long, but please remember that if you are in this situation, you are so loved, and you are NEVER alone.
So goodbye yellow brick road Where the dogs of society howl You can't plant me in your penthouse I'm going back to my plough - Elton John, "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"
JAMES
ASPEN, COLORADO
February 8, 2023
James had never felt more enraged, or more helpless as he and Fiona stood there, watching John walk toward them. Blood roared in his ears, and he clenched his fist while squeezing Fiona's hand. Beside John was a woman who looked like Fiona— blonde, petit, wearing something very similar to what Fiona would wear. James wondered if those were her clothes. She said she left a lot of her stuff back in Kansas and replaced it when she got to Portland.
