Tempura

My life... but taken out of context (ft. my brothers)

DISCLAIMER!! This is full of random inside jokes and moments from my life, and none of these are to be taken seriously! Just a bunch of highschoolers being stupid together!!

Older brother: Look. That girl there. Smash or pass? I say smash.

Me: hard smash

My brother: What

Me: What

Eldest brother: So what you're tryna say is that you framed Hitler for all the war crimes you have committed?

Me: Mhm.

Eldest brother: And that you're the reason why ww1 started?

Me: Yup.

Eldest brother: And you're also a drug lord and italian mafia boss?

Me: Presicely.

Eldest brother: Then why are you so broke?

Me: Don't worry about that.

Older brother:  Look, I think we all have come to the agreement that any non human name that doesn't belong to you, is your name.

Eldest brother: Right, Fatoush?

Me: Kys

Older brother: Harankash!

Me: What?

Older brother: See? I just proved my point.

Eldest brother: I literally have no lore to tell my children. Like you two here have a lot of lore (me and my older brother).

Me: This guy's lore is that his mother doesn't love him and that he was found on a church's door (points at my older brother)

Older brother: Man.

Mom: You kids are so mean. Stop saying that I don't love him

Eldest brother: Okay so here's the plan. Since this guy here is a professional gambler, we can use him to get rich.

Older brother: Mhm.

Eldest brother: We give him 10 dollars, and he gambles them, okay?

Older brother: Yes.

Eldest brother: If he wins something, great! We take the money, and we give him another 10 dollars to gamble with.

Older brother: Yes, continue.

Eldest brother: But if he loses, then we just go home with the money we won.

Me: So what do i get in return?

Brothers: Absolutely nothing.

Eldest brother: Mom. Do you want to be rich?

Mom: ...What are you gonna do with your sister now?

Older brother: We have a plan, let me explain-
Eldest brother: Shut up, no one understands what you say when you start talking.

Eldest brother: So, you see this kind man over there? (points at me)

Mom: What about her?

Eldest brother: He's african. And he also plays football.

Mom: Okay?

Older brother: Do you see the connection there?

Eldest brother: To put it simply, we're gonna sell him to paris, and we take the money. He's african and he plays soccer, so therefore-

Eldest brother: Mom, I've lost the ability to refer to that guy using the feminine pronouns. (Me) I just can't see myself talking to that guy as if he was a woman-

Eldest brother: i can sell you on the black market and caption you "White african for sale - Very rare"