Astrid Hoffmann was born in West Germany. It was 1987 and she was helping people get past the wall until the sunset. She was walking when she found an odd necklace and took it home to give back to somebody tomorrow. However, Hoffmann Wakes in a new...
Picture: Tatiana and Anastasia with a sailor onboard the Standart, c.1913
Sensitive topics ahead.
JULY 1913 Me, Cian and Kiki's time in Russia was ending slowly. Anastasia's birthday came and went, and it was fun. Having another ball. Livadia was such an amazing place and I understood why they came here so much. There are so many things to do here. The sparkling water is beautiful and thereare many interesting trails to walk. I was wheeled inside of grandmothers yacht. I sat by a table next to Cian and Caoimhe and a few ladies in waiting.
The 300 year rule of the Romanov Family celebration was boring on my part because no one knows about my existence as a Romanov. Everyone else was greeting, shaking hands while I stayed on the side sometimes with Cian and Caoimhe but even they got to shake hands. I was bored out of my wits. The party was okay, I sat on one of the thrones since my wheelchair wouldn't fit the occasion. The girl had matching outfits while I had a different dress, it was blue with my hair braided.
Caoimhe wore a sailor dress, navy blue, with her hair in a bun. She wore stockings and brown boots. Cian wore something similar, but with trousers instead. Cian walked in with Caoimhe, then stood next to me. Caoimhe didn't do what Cian did. Cian did a salute.
Ever since our journey here on that fateful night, I realised there was so much people around. I don't even know half of their names, Caoimhe and Cian did, Cian was the one that knew all the names. I know it's bad but can I be blamed? Different people surround me all the time and I don't even socialise with them. Cian doesn't like to socialise but they all seem to know him and Caoimhe. I heard the door open and Grandmother walked in with Ladies in waiting trailing behind her. "Privet Dowager Empress." Cian bowed. "Privet Cian." She waved then turned to me. Caoimhe curtsied.
"Astrid! You do not have to be in that ridiculous chair anymore!" She ordered as she sat down next to Cian on a regular chair. Cian looked nervously at Caoimhe. Like they were having a silent conversation.
"I don't?" I asked, confused. "Of course not! I didn't have the power to fight with your parents about it, before we left Dr. Botkin informed me that you don't need the wheel chair anymore." Grandmother replied.
Cian looked nervous. I looked down, feeling all eyes on me. I put my hands onto the wheelchair slowly pulling myself up. Cian tapped a lady in waiting and they both helped me up. I managed to stand for a split second before my legs began shaking and they went weak. I went flying forwards, I thought I was going to land face flat but two hands pulled me by one arm the one by the over, making me stop. I was surprisingly light and they yanked me back into the chair.
I tried again, same result. I imagine it was painful to watch me try stand up, a simple act to complete, yet difficult for me to do. On my last try I was successful, with having Cian and the lady in waiting holding me in place by my waist. The lady in waiting held my rib cage and let me go. Cian stared at her and marched over to grandmother. The lady in waiting followed, she tried to say as quiet as she could, "Your majesty, I can feel her ribs, she is very skinny." Cian nodded. "She's been skinny for a while, I noticed slowly overtime. It was weird, it's like that wheelchair made her skinny." Cian whispered. Grandmother looked taken back and dismissed everybody but Caoimhe, Cian and two ladies in waiting. Cian turned his face away and turned Caoimhe's head away too.
Once everyone had did what they did and Cian began quietly reading a story to Caoimhe, the two ladies in waiting began stripping me off my clothes and corset, only to have me in my short sleeved undergarments. My bony arms were revealed. That is when grandmother ordered them to lift my final piece up to the ending point of my rib cage revealing my stomach.
I haven't noticed how much my body changed at all.
She told one of them to call a doctor as soon as they could. I got redressed and Cian came forward with Kiki. I was sitting back into the chair when the lady in waiting said, "Look how hollow her cheekbones are." Grandmother stayed silent, observing my face.
"She looks like you, well you might be worse." Caoimhe told Cian. "Wow. Thanks Cao." Cian said sarcastically. "She isn't wrong." The lady in waiting said. Cian gave her a Death stare.
Very soon the doctor came and observed my malnourished self. He looked worried to Cian but Cian shrugged. He identified my illness, not telling me what it was. I was confused, I was purposely starving myself like Cian is,I just lost my appetite most of the time. The ladies in waiting put a jacket over me, probably to hide how skinny I was. I was then wheeled out so that Grandmother could discuss matters. The lady in waiting who agreed with Caoimhe to Cian bring skinnier than me, Cian and Caoimhe stayed with me to keep me company. The other lady in waiting stayed with grandmother. I sat silently staring at my lap. Did I look that bad? People looked worried with Cian but he gave them a glare I couldn't do.
"May I see a mirror please?" I asked. They all have glances. Reluctantly, the lady in waiting looked for her mirror. She pulled out a handheld mirror and handed it to me. I saw something not me in the reflection, it made my heart nearly stop beating. I saw the frightening Angel, then the mysterious hooded boy. Once I blinked both of them were gone, but the reflection didn't improve. I looked so pale, nearly like how pale Caoimhe is. Cian was way more pale than any of us.
My cheekbones looked so hollow too. I was scared to look at myself, so how could others but Cian do it? Cian was probably used to it. K held back tears, what happened to me? Why am I like this? What is wrong with me? Why can't I be normal? I felt tears slowly slipping out of my eyes and I wiped them away. I couldn't control my emotions. I didn't know what to do with myself. Very soon as I got the news Grandmkther came in.
"We are staying here in Russia."
Cian nearly choked. "For fucks sake!"
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Caoimhe's sailor dress, imagine it to be navy blue though.
