Woke Up In A New Decade

Chapter Thirty Three

Photo: Grand Duchesses Olga and Tatiana Nikolaevna, 1914 (Olga: 18-19 yrs, Tatiana 16-17 yrs)

Ps: I'm sorry for mistakes, I'm really high atm.
January 1914
I stood in front of Peterhof palace with my bags off to the side with servants. Cian and Caoimhe next to me, their bags with the servants too. It was cold and snow was lying around everywhere. I was back 'home' I guess, it wasn't that bad because Cian and Kiki where here. We was met at the entrance by Lili Dehn, leading us to Mama. With our bags in our hands we followed her through the palace that seemed more like a maze. Our goodbyes with Grandmother and Liesel was very brief, she was going to be a lady in waiting in Denmark, for the now queen. I was going to have a new one, sharing with the pairs I guess.

I walked up the stairs with Cian and Caoimhe trailing behind me, we made our way to Mama's tea room. It was exactly the same as the last time we were there, it smelled like lavender. Mama was resting as Anna read to her, none of my sisters were in sight. Once they had noticed that the door had opened, Mama motioned for us to come quickly. She stood up and took me into her embrace. "Oh my darling! You don't know how much I jaded you! I'm so glad to see you back and healthy!" She exclaimed. I instantly wrapped my arms around her. I was shorter than her but catching up to her height. Caoimhe was about the same size of the Tsarina and Cian was towering over all of them. "Cian! It's so great to see you!" She hugged him, he awkwardly wrapped his arms around her. "Caoimhe! Good to see you!" She also hugged Caoimhe.

"Lili! Call the girls and let them know that Cian, Astrid and Caoimhe have arrived home officially!" Mama ordered. Lili bowed and left, Mama took me by the hand and we sat down on the couch together. Cian sat on the floor with Caoimhe on a chair. "Where is Alexei?" I asked as I looked around the room. "He is with your Papa, they are with your sisters in the garden playing in the snow." I nodded my head as we sat in silence. "How have you been, my darling?" Mama asked me. "I am doing well, Mama." I replied.

I didn't want to talk, I was not in the mood. I won't see Liesel ever again and I don't know when I'd see grandmother, it was the guilt and sadness of losing a close friend. Mama kept talking about how everyone missed having the three of us around but we were all finding it hard to believe. Well Cian never believed it and Caoimhe stopped believing it but I was finding it difficult to believe it. After all, I literally shouldn't exist and should be in the 1980s.

The door were loudly opened and first ran in was Maria who made it there before any of them. "I'm so thrilled to see you Asya!" She exclaimed as she rushed down my side. She embraced me into the biggest hug ever. I had trouble breathing before she let me go. "Ci! Cao!" She exclaimed and brought the two into a hug. She let them go in the end and everyone else began piling in. We were all greeted with hugs from the big pair and Anastasia, then papà came in with Alexei. Following them was the governess and two ladies in waiting. With everyone in the room, I realised they were in winter attire.

"I'm so glad you're home Astrid! It's so great to see you Cian and Caoimhe!" Tatiana smiled at us. "We missed you all dearly!" Olga remarked. "Why were you guys sent away in the first place anyway?" Anastasia asked, it made all three of us pause. Well, me and Cao paused Cian just gave her a death stare. I looked as Mama and Papa shared looks, then she broke the eye contact and scolded Anastasia. "Shvibzik! It's rude to ask such questions!" Anastasia was using all her willpower to hold off an eye roll. Instead, she looked at Tatianochka with a confused face.

"Well, Astrid why don't we go back to our room so you can unpack your smaller items," Maria recommended, trying to change the subject. "No Marie, she won't be rooming with you and Shvibzik anymore. She will be sharing with the Big Pair now." Mama explained. The room was much more silent, everyone was full of shock expect our parents and Cian. Alexei seemed to have little to no interest in our conversation.

Cian seemed to snap out of his death glaring trance of whoever spoke and looked really confused, and sick. Probably high on weed, again. Where does this kid find weed? In January? "Wait what's happening?" He asked. "Are you high again?" Caoimhe sighed, it got them attention from everyone. Maria was thinking of what she was going to say when she exploded with rage. "I don't do drugs Empress Dagmar or Maria." He sassed. "We're going to unpack." Caoimhe said as she struggled to pull Cian out of the room.

"WHY MAMA?! WE HAVE SHARED A ROOM SINCE THE DAY I WAS BORN!" Maria yelled in frustration, exploding in rage. I'm pretty sure the Irish kids could hear that. "Me and your father have already established this decision." Mama yelled back in annoyance. No one said a word and I kept my head down. I felt Maria's gaze fall onto me. I barely got to blink before she flashed out of the room, sprinting somewhere in the palace. I heard Cian yell, "WANT SOME DRUGS?!" And Caoimhe frustratedly yell to him, "CIAN! NOT NOW!" Everyone stayed silent as the door slammed once, then again as it swung from the force of Maria's strength. "Come on Asya, we will show you to our room." Tatiana nodded to me, taking initiative. I looked to Mama who looked sad and sorrowful. She gave me a small nod, allowing me to go with Tatiana.

I stood up with my bag in hand. Olga held the door open for us as we slipped out the room. We followed the same direction of where Cian and Caoimhe walked. Tatiana began leading me to the room, walking there was quite long. Lili was trailing behind us, not saying a word. Nobody was saying anything. After a bunch of endless walking, we got there. "Here we go!" Tatiana exclaimed. She opened the door and it was very different from the little pairs room.

We saw Caoimhe and Cian, Cian held a tissue in his nose as blood rushed out of it. "Sorry, we don't have any tissues." Cian apologised. He got up and walked out of the room with Caoimhe. I sighed and put my back down, I felt their stares burn through my back. "Why did Mama put me here?" I asked. They both kept silent and I noticed that Lili was out the room and that Cian and Caoimhe's room was across from the big pairs. "Well.. she thought it would be a better idea to have you with us because it'll be-"

"Safer." Olga finished, cutting Tatiana off. I remained silent. What I meant was why was I back here with the Irish siblings? Would I be protected from Rasputin? Was I safe with the big pair? There was a bed right between Olga and Tatiana's. I knew it was mine, the middle child. It looked awkwardly placed, it looked plain compared to the other two, it looked out of place. It wasn't supposed to be there. I walked over to it and sat down, when I looked up I knew the big pair was talking about me like I was walking on the thinnest ice to exist and could fall in any moment. They took me as fragile which I hated them for thinking that. But still, I knew they only wanted what was best for me and to protect me, so I couldn't exactly hate them. In the end i still loved them, even if they treated me like I was some tiny little girl.