Astrid Hoffmann was born in West Germany. It was 1987 and she was helping people get past the wall until the sunset. She was walking when she found an odd necklace and took it home to give back to somebody tomorrow. However, Hoffmann Wakes in a new...
Picture; Grand Duchess Olga Nikolaevna and her aunt Olga Alexandrovna in 1912
October 1912
I saw Cian and Caoimhe frequently. I only saw them properly at dinner, I looked at my plate or them at dinner. Aunt Olga was having an argument with grandmother about something family related. Cian covered Caoimhes ears and I covered his. He smiled at me, I knew nobody really did that for him. When we were finished, we all excused ourselves. I saw them go to paint each other and I decided to plant something. We didn't want to hear their argument. Caoimhe posed as Cian painted, it was beautiful too.
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Caoimhe enjoyed Tudor England and it made Cian draw her in old fashioned clothes. I decided to also paint, we all began painting in the end, I painted for longer because Cian got bored and began reading and Kiki went to bed. I painted my mother, her beautiful hair and eyes, I inherited my fathers weird blond hair but I inherited my mothers eyes that seemed to change a lot. I didn't notice Aunt Olga walk in to our room. I saw Cian in the corner of my eye in a really good chapter, his eyes lit up. I watched as she asked Liesel to leave the room, she did.
She sat next to me, Cian was definitely not listening because Liesel would say his name to no answer. Not surprising! She smiled at me. "I like that, what are you painting?" She asked. "My mother from 1987..." I muttered. Cian was still not listening to me, I could tell. Aunt Olga kept quiet, I didn't care for her presence, my eyes looked at my two friends, making sure they were safe. I was firstly separated from my 1987 family, now the new family with the Tsar.. I felt miserable.
"Do you ever feel like you don't belong?" Aunt Olga asked me out of the blue. I turned my head and looked at her for the first time. Her red watery eyes focused on my painting. "No, I don't know what you mean." I lied horribly. I would not let out my emotions to a woman I met two days ago, I made that mistake and was regarded crazy, she turned her head and looked at me, "Astridy, you don't have to lie. I have readed the letters my brother sent me. I know what they think of you. Similar to what they think of me." Olga said, she said it soft as a murmur and I was taken back at her statement. They don't think I'm normal, but who could blame them? They don't know anything.
"I'm really sorry, I've been rude sometimes but it's because I'm frustrated with your grandmother. She can be stubborn sometimes." She admitted, I put my paint brush down and calmly turned to her. "She only wants the best fo you." I said, she looked at me funny, I even stopped Cian's power reading just by saying that. He shrugged and continued. She sighed and smiled softly, "Astrid, it's okay to feel different because I feel different too. I don't want to be a Grand Duchess, I want to be normal like everyone else, I wish I could have decided someone I could marry." She muttered.
I was taken back by her statement, grandmother wants the best for us, for Cian and Kiki, for my family. I didn't like the fact she disagreed but I wasn't going to start an argument, because then I'd be punished for debating an adult. For what I know about her, she didn't really enjoy her live and wasn't happy. "I don't feel that different, except our family doesn't know as much as me." I state as my shaking hand takes my brush again, I took deeper breaths to control my shaking hands. "Astrid, if you know so much. What will happen to our family?" She asked. A lump formed in my throat. I didn't want to say anything and it was pure luck that Grandmother walked in.
"Olga Alexandrovna, Astrid Nikolaevna. What are you doing?" Grandmother asked us, aunt Olga sat down properly and more posh. "We are having a conversation." She lazily replied, she looked at me. "Astrid." I looked at her, "We are having a conversation about mama and papà back in Russia."
Grandmother nodded her hand, believing my statement. "Cian, Astrid, Kiki, please leave the room." Grandmother commanded, Cian walked out reading as Kiki drooped outside, I walked out and shut the door, but not properly. I held a finger to my lips. Cian slipped in a bookmark and we listened carefully. Liesel was there, she allowed me to eavesdrop. Olga looked angrily at grandmother.
"I don't think you should decide this, she is not your child. She is Nicky and Alicky's child." Olga said, she said in a hushed tone. "Well, I am her guardian now. They decided it would be best for her to stay with me because they can't look after all their children." Argued Grandmother. Olga looked full of anger, "it's not their fault! Partially maybe, but it's not their fault Alexei can die at any second. They have to focus on him. You shouldn't give her this surgery. She will suffer for the rest of her life." Aunt Olga hissed angrily.
My heart stopped, not actually. I would die. My grandmother wanted to do surgery on me? What? Why? When? Whyy? I kept on listening. "You can't tamper with her brain, she is too young! Especially with the frontal lobe." Aunt Olga mutttered. I was scared, was this what they were arguing about earlier? What if I really do get this surgery? Will I be different? Will I not remember my past. I looked at Liesel, why did she let me listen? I had tears prickle on my cheek. Liesel was 18 and from Czechoslovakia, she was already engaged to a danish officer.
Cian hugged me, so did Kiki and Liesel, they allowed me to cry on them. I cried because I was alone, I didn't know where my family was, and I was separated from my new family. And nobody ever believed me.
