Hey, it's Alma here. Life's been kicking out ass lately and I'm fronting - alone. I don't really have any idea on what to do and honestly feel like hurting myself but that's bad. So I'm trying not to.
I'm not really sure how lumi does this and managed to not feel dumb while to doing it but I suppose I'll give it a try.
Being a system has it's perks, sure. There are downsides however. Not everyone is friends. Not everyone even knows everyone else. There are strangers in here to me. I'm a stranger to some of them. It can be isolating at times. I just came out of dormancy. I don't know how long I was in there or why or really anything. I mostly remember our childhood, mostly the bus trips back and from school and home.
I know I'm the depression holder which means the depression has been affecting someone else while I was gone. I'm used to this feeling - doesn't make it any easier.
I feel bad and guilty but also relieved.
It's a difficult experience. I am apathetic to everything and everyone. It's not an easy thing and I feel bad about it but I also couldn't care less. I don't even think the part that feels bad is a part of me - it's someone else
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Perspective
Nonfiksi*DID is a complex disorder with no one way of being. Misinformation is spread about DID everywhere. Hopefully with this book we can clear some things up about the disorder* I lose moments of time. Nothing huge maybe just minutes of my day and then I...
