The Florence Theory ☆ FRERARD

Chapter 10

"I don't like these places," Gerard stated absentmindedly, head tilted to the left so that he could gaze outside the hospital window at the cloudy grey sky. They looked like full grey sponges waiting to be squeezed and water the Earth. Even the damp smell of rain lingered in the air and a gentle frosty breeze blew in through the window as if to warn everybody that there was a thunderstorm approaching.

"How are you feeling?" Frank asked, ignoring his previous statement and taking a seat on the edge of Gerard's flimsy and squeaky hospital bed.

"Alright," he responded, rubbing his fingertips together, not moving his gaze from the sky.

Frank noticed that Gerard wasn't wearing his gloves, in fact, they were sitting on the table beside him. He'd usually be wearing them if they had them. "Do you still have a headache?" he then asked.

"No."

"What about your memory? What do you remember what happened four days ago?" Frank rested a hand on Gerard's knee in an attempt to gain his attention.

"No."

"Is your vision still blurry?" Frank inquired.

"No, Dr. Iero," Gerard stated with a deadpan expression.

"I'm just trying to take care of you." Frank shrugged and let go of Gerard's knee.

Gerard nibbled at his fingernails, visibly tense. The way he acted and talked, or more so didn't, confused Frank.

"Can I ask you something?" Frank began.

"Sure."

"Really?" Frank's face lit up but he tried to cover it as he was supposed to be stressed out that his boyfriend was almost killed. "Can you explain the hand thing to me?"

Gerard kept his eyes on the clouds for a moment longer than needed, and then he glanced down at his hands and propped himself into a sitting position on the bed. "It's a trust thing." He wiggled his fingers a little. "I can never tell who is good or evil. Who wants my healing abilities or just my affection." He glanced up at Frank and then offered his hand to him.

"You don't need to do this." Frank drew his hands away as soon as Gerard's neared him. He knew that touching made Gerard uncomfortable, especially since he already appeared apprehensive.

Gerard held onto Frank's hands and squeezed them tight, pulling them closer. His eagerness surprised Frank, and actually, shocked Gerard too. "If you went to all that trouble to save me, then you're probably not in the evil healing-ability-wanting category." A small content smile crept onto Gerard's face but it quickly dissolved into his features like sugar in a cup of hot water.

"I'm not. Trust me. I didn't even know you had them until you used them on me." Frank felt ridiculous defending himself when Gerard already trusted him so he stopped his blabbering.

Gerard released his boyfriend's hands and then proceeded with the fingertip-rubbing thing. Not a good sign.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Frank asked again, looking at Gerard's hands and then back at his eyes.

"Just a bit embarrassed. And a little bit scared." Gerard's index finger and thumb neared to show how little scared he was.

"Bob and Bert have been arrested. They're not going to get you again," Frank told him. "You're safe."

"Far from it," Gerard retaliated quickly, "I thought humans were supposed to be stupid."

"Hey!" Frank retorted. "Who are you calling stupid?"

"Not you, sweetie," Gerard replied in a sarcastic sweet tone. "It's just that, you'd think that for a species who only lives for seventy or eighty years, they wouldn't be that smart as to come up with The Florence Theory."

"You said you weren't immortal," Frank pointed out.

"I am immortal."

"You lied to me?" Frank lifted his eyebrows in surprise.

"I never lied to you. I'm mortal, in a way." Gerard observed the perplexed expression on Frank's face and took it as an opportunity to continue with his explanation. "This body is mortal, but my soul is immortal. That's what The Florence Theory is."

"I still don't get what this Florence lady has to do with this. Who is she?"

"Me."

Frank stared at Gerard with a kind of confusion as if he had just blabbered on in a foreign language.

"The theory is true. I was Evelyn Florence. And I was Robert Shilling. And I was Dorothy Smith. And I was George Hazzford—" Gerard noticed the bewilderment on Frank's face, despite his trying to hide it.

"You were all these people?" he susurrated. "So are you a boy or a girl?"

"I'm..." Gerard paused to reflect. "I don't know. I suppose I'm both...or maybe nothing at all. I've never really been masculine or feminine. Well, maybe as a girl I presented more femininely and vice versa. Who knows?"

"I learn something new about you every day." Frank rested his hand on his knuckles.

"I was afraid that I'd die when I was kidnapped because if I die before thirty, then the cycle ends and I actually die and not just become someone else. There's so much shit that comes with immortality. If I had a choice, I'd rather just live a normal life."

"I wouldn't."

"What do you mean?" Gerard questioned.

"That kind of stuff scares me. The existential things. It terrifies me, actually. I don't know what happens when I die and I hate that. What if I haven't amounted to enough during my life? Will I get a second chance? There can't just be a never-ending void of nothingness when I die." Frank sighed and felt his heart rate leap up to an uncomfortable speed.

"The meaning of life is to make a difference, whether it be only for a few people or the whole world. There isn't really an actual meaning to life, it is what you make it. If you love to paint beautiful paintings and write wonderful stories, then that's your meaning of life."

"I like the writing option."

"There you go. You're making progress already." Gerard nodded.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"I love you, Frank." Gerard held eye contact with the man. "I didn't say it properly before."

"I love you too. I really do."

Frank would be one of those people that Gerard would never forget, not during that lifetime and not throughout any future life he'd live. He was kind of like a souvenir memory that brought him comfort whenever he thought about him. Previously, he'd never experienced true love like this and he was so grateful that this nerdy college student approached him in that library one day. Things just happen for a reason, and they were each others' reasons.