Nick and Charlie -afterwards

Struggling

Charlies POV:

Me and Nick have been married for just over 4 years, we're a very happy couple who live together. Recently I haven't been doing so good with my mental health. In secondary school I had alot of things going on for example an eating disorder, OCD, and just generally struggling with alot of other things. One of them being self harm, although I was clean for about 5 years for some reason I relapsed quite recently. Me and nick have always been good at talking to each other about our mental health's but for a while we've mostly been happy so we haven't talked about it for some time. I just feel like I can't talk to him at the minute, I'm getting in my head about dumb things again.

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I was sat on the bed looking in the mirror at my disgusting body. I felt uneasy looking at my fresh, new scars covering my body. I was wearing my iconic black, ripped skinny jeans, with a baggy knitted jumper. I jumped at the sound of Nick opening the door. I quickly dropped my jumper and t-shirt to cover my hideous body.

"Charlie!" I heard his keys rattling as the stairs creeked. I sat back down on the  bed and waited for him to enter. "Charlie?" He opens the doors and as soon as he sees  me he instantly smiles. "Look what I got you!" He said gleefully,  holding up a packet of nerd gummy clusters. He knows I've always wanted to try them but have never been able to find them. He sits down next to me and puts them on my lap when I don't take them.

"Thanks!" I look at him leaning my head on his shoulder. He kissed my forehead and then got back up.

"I'm gonna make us curry for tea, is that ok?" He always makes sure to tell me before he makes us anything just so I can be ready or tell him if I don't want it. He's the best, I don't even know why I'm struggling to tell him.

"Yeah I'd love that!" I smiled I moved the sweets next to me. Nick smiled back at me before walking out.

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Nicks POV:

I walked down the stairs to the kitchen after leaving mine and charlies room. Somethings wrong with him, he's not himself. I expected him to be alot more excited about the gummy clusters. He's mostly better from his ED but these things never go away and could potentially come back if things get worse. We haven't talked about our mental health in a while, I assumed he was better then but mabey now he's getting worse. Instead of getting upset about it I went to make dinner. I put my apron on over my baggy joggers and greenish jacket. I started to prepare things and wash things ready to be cooked. Charlie walked in but I didn't notice because I was too busy stirring the curry. A small laugh came from behind me.

"Charlie?" He moved out from behind me presenting me with one of his sweets. Still with his sweet laugh filling my ears. I open my mouth since my hands are full and he pops the sweet in. "Omg there so good" I say adding expression to my words. "Dinner is nearly, its just the rice that needs a bit longer" I look at Charlie, he looks almost worried.

"Oh alright" hes sat at the dinner table now scrolling on his phone. His facial expression stays the same. We stay in comfortable silence while I dish up the food. I bring his food out to him at the table, our kitchen and dining room are basically just one big room but you can tell which is which. He switches of his phone and puts it face down on the table, I assumed that he was talking to Tao or Issac.

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Charlies POV:

Nick brings out my food and I look down at it, those same feelings from when I was younger came rushing back. He comes and sits down infront of me with his plate.

"Warning, it might be a bit spicier than it should be" He chuckled quietly. I look up and do a sort of awkward smile, I don't know why but him saying that made me alot more nervous. Nick starts to eat but instead of this comforting me it made me feel horrible.

"Nick ill just be a minute" He senes the tone of panic in my voice. I get up and before he could say a word I left the room and ran upstairs with teary eyes.

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Nicks POV:

Somethings definitely wrong with Charlie, I was very tempted to look at his phone but I don't want to invade his privacy, although I'm his husband I feel he would be mad if I did. Instead I check my phone. I start to worry after 5 minutes so I get up to go find him. I check our room first and he wasn't there. When I walk out I notice the bathroom door was locked.

"Charlie let me in" I say, I try to barge open the door but it won't budge. "Charlie what's going on?" I heard loud sobbing.

"Nick fuck off" it was barley audible over his crying. I exused it because I knew something was up, he never likes to talk about his feelings but he does.

"No Charlie, tell me what's wrong" I become really worried. He doesn't respond. I run back to our room and grab a penny from Charlies bedside table to unlock the door. When I get back to the door, to my surprise the door was open and Charlie was standing there.

"Charlie..." I said  sympathetically.