In His Custody ✎ | (MaNan)

✰ 60 - never fall in love again until I found her

Oh my, I am crying. I want to give my beloved readers a very very tight hug. This is literally so so so much for my MaNan heart.

Please show some mercy and love on your author.

⭒

After a beautiful day spent with the love of my life, I entered home at quarter past seven on the night of 31st.

The elders were happy upon my arrival, and no questions were asked about my whereabouts. Under any other circumstance, it would have been odd – as there were certain expectations of me, as the daughter of the house, that neither of my brothers were burdened with.

Given Rishu's health, however, and the mental toll it had taken on me over the last handful of days, all the adults in the house had showed me more compassion.

In fact, I must have forgotten to mention this to you – Babbu – but a couple of days ago, while my Ammamma was braiding my oiled hair, she was chatting with my Chikkamma and indirectly feeding me the idea of sightseeing the new city I hardly had a chance to explore.

That's why when I finally set up all the plans for his birthday, and softly requested them if they would let me visit the zoo with 'Navya', it had landed like some blessing in disguise for them. That if I was to relinquish a little of my adolescence in peace, they would gladly allow and support it. I shoved the churning guilt of my lie aside, and instead thought about how I was trying to make someone's day in the process. And chose to go with him.

I went upstairs to wash my hands and feet and change into something comfortable. In front of my bathroom mirror, I glanced at the traces of a natural blush across my cheeks, my eyes appearing brighter than usual and my body... My fingertips brushed the parts of my exposed skin that met his touch, as my gaze in the reflection slowly dropped to my clothed chest.

"I liked it." I had mumbled as we drifted out of the cave, utterly bashful of the hormone induced instinct to feel his hands on my flesh. He amusedly scanned me as I dug my face further into his arm, hiding myself from his sight. I heard a little breath that resembled a chuckle, and the next moment, he had pulled me closer to his ribs, giving me the chance to lay my head on his broad chest.

"Me too," He said in such a convincing manner. "In fact, it might be my second favourite part of you."

"And the first?" 

He turned as his eyes scanned my lips and he brought his tongue out to wet them in a roguish fashion. Before I reprimand him to stop teasing me, they flicked up to study my eyes. "Actually, scratch that. Third, it is."

I had never looked at them with anything more than resentment. When I started developing them, it was a ugly reminder that I was growing into a 'woman' and that meant I needed to be more mindful of whose attention I caught and what the impact of their glances were.

The specific words Ammamma used were – you're becoming a woman. So, boys and men will stare at you and pay more attention to parts of you that are different from theirs, but always remember, Kanna... your body is not just yours anymore... it's also your future husband's. You must protect it from evil eyes. It only made me more self-conscious of the little girl I could no longer be... for reasons against my will. Just like the accident permanently scarred my perspective of the joys of growing up.

Today was the first day I was tenderly blinking at them as I replayed our conversation. For the first time, I was mildly opening up to the possibility, against my own ingrained belief, that maybe... this is what they're made for – to be loved. Because that was what a gentle hold on them from the right person felt like. From my future husband, if my Aiyappa allowed my wish to come true.