Echos of Forever (Kakashi love story)

It hurts

I crack my eyes open seeing blond hair in my vision. My heart hurts worse than my body,how didn't I know ! Tears escape, How am I supposed to face my boys? How am I to face Kashi. At that I begin crying even harder.  I feel little arms wrap around me " What's wrong mommy?" I take in a deep breath wiping my eyes " Sorry Naru I just had a bad dream is all ."  I look into his blue eyes " Its  okay Mom I'll run them off like you run mine off !" He proclaims loudly I give him a weak smile and give him a kiss on the cheek ."Thank you little man I already feel better ." He gives me a grin. I look over when I hear a knock on the door ,it's Tsunade " Hey Granny Tsunade!" Naruto exclaims loudly I see a tick mark apear on her head  before she calms down and looks at me " I see he is like you no manners Red " I rub the back of my neck with hand ." So when can mom come home huh huh Granny Tsunade huh??" She walks up and flicks him in the forehead he falls on his butt " Ita Granny that really hurts !!" I let out a strangled giggle. He's definitely mine,at that thought my smile on my face completely disappears .Mine.  My hand holds my belly .  Tsunade gives me a look of sadness. " She can go home today but later okay ? Why don't you head home ill have an anbu escort you home." He pouts but bounces into bed wrapping his arms around me " I love you mom!" He quickly dispears out of the room . She leaves just as quickly trying to catch him before he  leaves with out someone.
I look and see some clothes in the corner ,I get up and throw them on . I look down at myself ,Minatos shorts and Kakashis shirt . I grip my belly tightly in my hand and let a strangled gasp out of my mouth. I need to get out of here I have to clear my head before I can face them. I throw the window open and quickly escape.  I wonder around the  village until I notice I've made it infront of the Nara compound. I hear a rumble of thunder . I look up stareing into the black and gray clouds rolling by . I flinch when cold drops of rain hit my face. Takeing a shaky breath I head twords the Nara forest . I'm drenched in rain I can't even tell the difference between my tears or the rain. I collapse to my knees When I see the river flowing strong in the midst of the storm.
I can't stop the sob that escapes my throat .Why didn't I know how could I have been so reckless ! How am I supposed to tell them  how am I supposed to tell Kakashi.  Just the thought of the silver haired man makes be sob even louder I begin to wail  while holding my stomach .

I feel something nudge me ,I look up and see it's the deer from the last time ,I stare into its deep brown eyes. It lays down curling around me  laying it's head again in my lap . I lay against it  crying and even sometimes screaming as I cry . I sniffle  I run my fingers through the deers wet fur. There's a huge clash of thunder ,the deer doesn't even flinch . " What am I supposed to do ?" The deer raises its head  looking me in the eyes ,and outs it's nose against my forehead. I gasp closeing my eyes I gently hold its head and cry silently the rain slowly begins to let up  . " Thank you"  I feel the deer pull away and stand up and stay there stareing at me . I get up  putting one foot infront of the other.He follows me until we reach my home. I stop my body just freeze stareing at it. I feel a nudge against my shoulder , I run my fingers through its fur again. " Okay boy" I watch as the deer turns around and begins walking away. I slowly make my way to the front door ,I open it walking in I turn the corner  when I see both Minato and Kakashi sitting at the table looking stressed.  Minato rises to his feet quickly " Haven where were you we've been look..what's wrong sweetheart.?" I wrap my arms around my stomach and begin crying silently. Kakashi turns around his one Black orb looking into mine " Angel ?" I launch myself at him I feel his arms wrap around me tightly ," What's wrong Angel?" I begin sobbing loudly , I keep mumbling I'm so sorry . I feel Minato kneel down to where Kakashi has us sitting in the floor ." Sweet heart there's no reason to be sorry What's wrong?" I look at Minato concern written all over hos face ,tears still streaming down my face " i..I didn't..I didn't. Know ..Inari I'm so sorry " I begin sobbing again burying my head into Kashi chest . " It hurts it hurts so bad " I feel Kashi tense slightly " Haven do we need to get Tsunade ?" I shake my head " Sweet heart talk to us please your starting to scare us " I hiccup from crying so much . " I swear I didn't know!" I feel Minato hand is in my face rubbing tears away " What didn't you know sweetie?" A sob escapes my throat. " i..i.. was pregnant..I lost it. I didnt know " I sob even harder burying my head into Kashis flack jacket, I feel him go completely still  . I feel Minato wrap his arms around both of us ." Shh sweet heart it's gonna be okay,we beilve you shhh it's gonna be okay were here ." I must have nodded off because I feel myself getting g picked up . I stir when I feel myself being laid down " Shh Angel it's okay" I sit up and look at him I quickly look down at my hands,and whisper " I'm sorry Kashi " I feel him   begin to undress me and help me put on one of his shirts . I feel the bed dip " Look at me Angel ." He  gently lifts my face to look at him  I stare into his diffent color eyes thay hold pain." You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for " tears begin to slip down my cheeks.  " I don't even know if you want kids Kashi...but I do ..i..would have really  loved that baby" I put. Hand on my belly . I feel so empty even though I didn't even know that I do I feel so empty. He puts his hand on my stomach." Angel I know you would of ,I would of as well ,I've never thought about haveing kids until you came into my life.."Tears slide down his cheeks " I'm sorry Kakashi..I wouldn't of ..I would of been more careful"   " I know  we know stop  lameing yourself i dont blame you,i blame the ones who attacked you. " i stiffen before we lay down in bed his hand never leaving my stomach, he nuzzle his head in to my neck." Shh Angel it'll be okay we will be okay."