The Non-Binary Poet

● August ○

August feels like the soundtrack in the end credits of a film I'm deeply and emotionally attached to

August feels like the happy ending in a movie which ended that way, even though the plot wasn't fit for it

August leaves me wondering; "but what happens after that?"

August is an aching feeling of the past,

Children's laughter in the distance,

Perhaps a smell I can't quite recall what memory it's from.

August is community,

its picking apples and bringing my neighbors raspberries

and they give me a slice of the cake they baked it with.

August is like leaving a birthday party at age 9 after having a great time

playing

eating cake

and hoping your present is the one they like best.

In August my belly is happy, eating a shared delicious meal, the same I had one decade ago

August is the bittersweet goodbye after a three day sleepover with your best friend, at age 11

August feels sad but silly,
like my sister at 13 telling me that
she will not play Barbie's with me anymore,
due to her being sooo grown up now

August feels like the serendipitous feeling
of finding refuge in a small restaurant
- family owned and barely visited-
while I was wandering lost
in a big city,
when it suddenly began to storm.

August feels like my mom's kiss on the forehead, lingering on my skin until the end of time.

August is the voice on a rather gloomy day, of someone pointing their finger in the sky:
"Look, there's a rainbow!"
With a joy that, strangely, is only described to exist within kids.

August makes my heart ache
I want to just take it out of my ribcage
And show it to the world
Drop it on a silver platter
and serve it to everyone I know.

August is pondering over the fact, that, feeling is too much, too overwhelming, and too dreadful.

Samely, it's the realization I got
that it is better to feel
something, even if I feel everything, rather than being completely void of emotion.

Is it too much that I want to embrace the world
And I want it to embrace me too?

In August I want to let the current take me with force
Wherever it may lead me to.

I remember it from last year
At the height of summer

I can recall it, five Augusts ago

True heartbreak,
piercing through me, as I have never felt it before

In spite of this
There is healing and growth
In August
Soothingly,
ever since,
More meaningful things
Began coming my way.

August is a friend who visits me once a year, monotonously
I tell him to loosen up
And make it our mission
To be more silly
And have fun.

August,
my dear August
Momentarily
I look back
Midst the hardship
The lonesomeness
The grief
And the heartache

And see time's long gone
Because it solely took us eight months
To get along.

Xxx

Art by: pls comment if you recognize it, i found it on Pinterest but unfortunately only as a repost.

A/N:

August is truly, such a lovely term for a month. The A is so nice to look at besides all the other letters. It is one of my favorite letters after all...

Gracias mis amores precioses x estar aquí y darme su tiempo al leer este librito que fue hecho con todo el cariño del mundo. Ya ha pasado más de un año que lo crée y no saben lo tremendo que me ayudó en el proceso de duelo.

<3⋆｡°✩ ˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗...