The Madness Of Love | The Secret History

VII

From the first moment I set foot in Hampden, I had begun to dread the end of the term, when I'd have to go back to Plano. As the term wore on, and the snow got deeper and the mornings blacker, my melancholy began to turn into something like alarm. I did not think I could stand Christmas at my parents house.

Henry and Bunny were going to Italy over the winter vacation, to Rome. I was surprised at this announcement, especially since the two of them had been out of sorts for over a month. Bunny, I knew, had been hitting him hard for money. I was also fairly sure that whatever tension existed, Bunny was oblivious of it.

The trip was all Bunny talked about. He bought clothes, guidebooks, a record called Parliamo Italiano which promised to teach the listener Italian in two weeks or less, and borrowed an Italian vocabulary from Lilith. Henry had little to say about the trip. As Bunny rattled on he would sit smoking with deep, resolute drags, pretending not to understand Bun's fallacious Italian.

Lilith didn't tell me where she was going. Maybe because I never asked. But later, when Francis was rambling about Christmas in Boston and then traveling to New York, I figured that they'll be going together. This wasn't a surprise, honestly. They were doing almost everything together. Even living together in Francis's apartment outside of campus, though I knew that she had a dorm here.
In the very beginning it was hard for me to figure out what kind of relationship they have, but after one long talk with Lilith it cleared up. At least a little bit.

Francis also said he'd be happy to have me in Boston and then travel with them to New York; the twins phoned their grandmother in Virginia and she said she'd be glad to have me there for the entire break. But there was the question of money. I needed money if I wanted to come back in the spring.

My only choice, it seemed, was to stay in Hampden town. Dr Roland was willing to keep me on, though at a salary that wouldn't cover a decent rent. I heard about an old hippie who ran a musical instrument workshop. He would let you live there for free, if you sanded a few mandolins from time to time.

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The last week of school was a flurry of packing, typing, plane reservations and phone calls, for everybody but me. I had no need to finish my papers early because I had nowhere to go; I could pack at my leisure, after the dorms were empty.

Bunny was the first one to leave. For three weeks he had been in a panic over a paper he had to write for his fourth course, something called Masterworks of English Literature. The assignment was twenty-five pages on John Donne. We'd all wondered how he was going to do it, because he was not much of a writer. Anything Bunny wrote was bound to be alarmingly original since he began with such odd working materials and managed to alter them further, but the John Donne paper must have been the worst of all bad papers he ever wrote.

A week before the paper was due, he had started showing up in my room about two or three in the morning, looking as if he had just narrowly escaped soem disaster and would start asking me questions about something.

He finished the paper four days before the deadline and ran around showing it to everyone. "That's a nice paper, Bun - " Charles said cautiously. "Thanks, thanks." "But don't you think you ought to mention John Donne more often? "Oh, Donne" Bunny said scoffingly. "I don't want to drag him into this."

Henry and Lilith refused to read it. "I'm sure it's over my head, Bunny, really." Henry said, glancing over the fist page. "Yes, Bun" agreed Lilith. "I'm sure it's a very nice paper though."
"Say," Henry asked Bunny. "What's wrong with this type?" "Triple-spaced it." said Bunny proudly. "These lines are about inch apart." "Looks kind of like the free verse, doesn't it?" Henry made a funny little snorting noise through his nose. "Looks kind of like a menu." he said. Lilith snickered.

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Henry departed quickly and quietly. One night he told us he was leaving and the next day he was gone. Francis and Lilith left the day after and there were many prolonged goodbyes - Charles, Camilla and I standing by the side of the road, while Francis shouted at us with the window rolled down and Lilith simply waved.

Even though I hated to see Lilith go, I hated to see the twins go even more. They told me to not bother seeing them off the next morning, but I was there. The taxi was already waiting in front and Charles and Camilla were locking the door behind them. They were running late. Charles put down his suitcase to shake my hand. Camilla dropped the two suitcases she was carrying and threw her arms around me. The taxi honked and Charles put his head out the window. "Come on" he shouted.

I carried Camilla's bags down the sidewalk and stood under the street lamp as they pulled away. They turned around in the back seat and waved at me and I stood watching them.

I stood in the deserted street until I no longer could hear the sound of the motor. Then I walked back to campus. In my dorm the hallways were littered, everything dark and quiet as the grave. I was as depressed as I have ever been in my life. I pulled down the shades and lay down on my unmade bed and went back to sleep.

This was kind of a boring chapter, but in the next one Richard will get to know Lilith better, so it'll be more interesting.
Also I'm trying to write as much as I can before I go into writers block again.