Mafia Wearwolf Vampire Book

Chapter 2 - Cockblocked

Besides the physical differences, the Glickinator and I are so different personality-wise. He's the jock of Hogwarts Transylvania Avengers Palace... the number one Ultimate Frisbee player. And I... I am an ugly nerd. Nobody would ever pick me, chose me, or accept my 2 foot, 30 lb ass. The Glickinator would never love me, even if we were compatible physically. I cry. My body shaking from all of the emotions running through me. I again, hear footsteps approaching as I'm lying in my new room, on my comfy white bed.
"Little one... why are you crying," he asks as he approaches me and he starts to caress my face with his furry hand.
"Because I am not good enough for you. You are 11 feet tall and dark and handsome. And I am ugly."
He picks my 25 lb ass up off of the bed and holds me, cuddles me.
"My baby, I will always love you."
Jay enters the room.
"She's right. She's so ugly with those thick ass nerdy ass glasses."
"I'm sorry?" I ask, confused.
"Why won't you pick me," he asks the Glickinator.
"Because Jay, you are not the one."
"We have been childhood friends Glickinator. I don't understand this. You did not have to buy this blonde wanna-be Paris Hilton twig bitch. I would have accepted you and loved you for who you were."
"JAY! ENOUGH!"
The Glickinator sighs.
"There is only one way for me to determine which one of you is in the right... the Alpha Omega Beta buzz-feed test. You have to prove to me who is the best."
Jay and I sit next to one another on our phones taking the buzz-feed test.
"Done," he says.
"Done," I say.
"Let's look at the results," the Glickinator says.
"And the Alpha is... Emily."
Jay cries.
"NO! I AM THE ALPHA!!!"
He leaves the room in distress!
"He's right. I'm so ugly."
"No, you aren't my sweet little munchkin." He takes off my glasses.
"Look in the mirror..."
"I can't see."
"What?"
"I can't see."
"Trust me you look like a whole new person without those glasses."
"Well, I'll take your word for it," I say as I get up from the bed and fall on top of him. He's blurry but still so magnificent.
"We'll get you contacts, little one. Don't worry."
He picks me up.
"You need to be like me now," he says as he flips me over and bites my neck.
"You will be my vampire-wear-wolf princess superhero," he says. A mix of euphoria and fear overcomes me. But I am turned on. Before we kiss I hear someone yell "GLICKINATOR! HAVE YOU SEEN MY LAXATIVES?!"
"WHAT?"
"HAVE YOU SEEN MY LAXATIVES?"
"No Vex. I have not. I'm a bit busy here if you haven't noticed."
"This is more important."
"Ugh," he says as moans and groans and gets off of the bed.
"I'll help you find them I guess," he says annoyed.
"Sorry for cockblocking you Glickinator... and sorry for ruining the mood Emily."
"Don't worry about it Vex, let's find you your laxatives."