Smg4 Oneshots

Mario gets his pingas stuck in a vending machine

Author's note: I can't believe I haven't done a crackfic yet... Also, if you see any spelling errors, let's just say it adds on the crack and not me writing this at 12am.

Also, this takes place before 'An important talk'

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"Smg4! Mario's hungry!" The plumber whined, he clutched on to Four begging him to buy something for him.

Four deadpanned. "Mario, you just ate thirty minutes ago... how can you be hungry again?!"

The two of them were out picking up more supplies for the castle. As they had ran out of a couple of things.

Mario huffed. "I thought you cared about Mario." He gave the meme man puppy dog eyes. "You don't want Mario to starve, do you?"

Four rolled his eyes and sighed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ten dollar bill. "Fine, go get something from the vending machine over there." 

Mario let out an "Ooooo." A dashed his way towards the vending machine, crashing into it. The plumber picked himself back up and shook his head to get his vision clear.

The vending machine was filled with sweets and goodies, Mario could feel his mouth drooling.

The plumber pressed all sorts of buttons to get multiple treats out all at once. But, it seemed to backfire as now, they were stuck. 

Mario growled. "Come on!" He shook the vending machine, tried to break the glass, and eventually getting out a Waluigi launcher to blow it up. But to no avail.

Mario punched the vending machine one last time in fursation, only for the machine to fall over on top of Mario.

The plumber got the thing off him, and he went to go get Smg4, only to be stopped by something. 

His pingas was stuck in the little flap of the vending machine.

"Son of a bitch! Again!?!" Mario yelled. This was the third time his pingas got stuck in a door.

Well... there was only one thing to do. "SMG4!!!" The plumber yelled at the top of his lungs.

Four came over with an unamused look. "Mario what is no-" Four paused at the sight in front of him. The meme man began to snicker, he put his hands in front of him to prevent himself from laughing his ass off.

Mario felt his anger building up. "Smg4! We have to get Mario's pingas out before aliens come!"

Four was still holding back laughter. "Yeah, yeah... Let me do something real quick." He got out his phone and took a picture of Mario. 

He sent that picture to Three. Four chuckled to himself, he was snapped out of his thoughts by Mario breaking the glass on the vending machine.

"Well... at least Mario can die with a full belly." He cradled the snacks in his arms.

Four sighed and tried to pull him out of the machine but his weak nerd arms prevented the meme man from even moving Mario an inch.

"Goddammit!" Four was out of breath. He let go of Mario, too tired from trying to pulling on him. 

A fanfare could be heard. The two men turned their head to see Swag riding on top of a tank.

"Hark." He said. "Do I see... A fatass Italian got his ding-dong stuck again?" Swag hopped off the tank. "Dude, what is this, the third time? You really have the worst luck in the world."

He pulled out a sword and sliced right between Mario and the vending machine. Four winced as he heard Mario cry out in pain.

"The deed is done." Swag turned away, "Well, see you guys later, lol."

And with that, he was off.

Four looked down to see Mario in pain. "Uh... You good?"

Mario got up from the ground. "Mama Mia, Mario thought he was gonna lose his pingas."

Four twitched his head in disbelief. "Wait, what!?!" Mario pointed over to the vending machine, the door now broken. "Oh... yeah, that makes sense."

Four looked at his phone. "C'mon it's getting late, let's head home."

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A figure walked up to the vending machine. "What the blazes!?!"

The figure in question was a woman with purple hair and golden eyes, and she was wearing a ripped indigo dress. 

She reached in the broken machine and grabbed a whole bunch of snacks. She smirked.

"Well... can't say no to free food."