This isn't right [Joshua FF]

4

After writing that terrible essay, it's currently 4AM in the morning. I yawn from exhaustion.

"Are you going to stay here until morning? I mean, it's 4AM. I could drive you home if you want." Joshua says.

"It's not appropriate for me to stay here. I'll be on my way then. My apartment isn't far anyway, thanks a lot for your help.." I smile awkwardly and quickly run down the stairs, to the front door.

Me and Joshua have known each other for 5 whole years. Ji-Won introduced me to him, back then they weren't dating. I'm assuming they caught feelings and went from friends to lovers. They were always so lovey dovey, even as friends. Joshua would care and ask where she was even when she wasn't present.

Me and him were never as close. When I first met him, it was like a meeting with a brother of mine. He was friendly of course, but in a brotherly manner. He would do things that make others misunderstand. He's kind but a little too kind.

Joshua always said that I was like a little sister to him, a kid no matter what I do. He was there for me when nobody else was, besides Ji-Won of course. I started to catch feelings. Until I heard the news, Ji-Won and him started dating. Of course, I had to hear from rumors, instead of Ji-Won and Joshua themselves. I felt lonely. A type of loneliness that cannot be described with words.

I fell in love with him, but it was simply too late. Too late? It's not like he ever had the same feelings anyway.

Trying to forget your genuine feelings about someone is not easy. After a couple of years later, I finally moved on. Joshua and Ji-Won are a happy couple, Ji-Won never knew about my feelings towards him and I hope she never does. I know best friends are supposed to be honest about everything but I can't bring myself to tell her that I, Eun-Ji, had a crush on her boyfriend.

Joshua never knew about my feelings either. How would he? He thinks I'm simply a little sister of his, why would I have a crush on him? These thoughts and questions surrounded my head.

I make it safely home.

Once I stepped in my house, I ran to my bedroom and laid on my bed. I was extremely exhausted. I sigh.

My began to think about Joshua. My head was full of thoughts. I shake my head.

"I need to stop. That's your friend's boyfriend, Eun-Ji." I remind myself.

• next day •

I turned in my essay, receiving a compliment from my professor. He never compliments me, this is a one is a lifetime type of thing. I was happy I finally turned in my assignment on time.

I finished all my classes and was making my way towards my favorite cafe. I planned to study there for 2 hours, we had exams coming up.

As I make my way into the cafe, I stop Joshua sitting at one of the tables. He looks up at the sound of someone entering the cafe. I tilt my head in confusion.

"oh Eun-Ji, what are you doing here?" He asks.

"I'm studying here, what about you? Ji-Won said you don't usually go to cafes." I ask. I make my way towards his table.

"Ji-Won said they had great dessert here, I wanted to try some." He says.

"Oh right! I heard you like sweet things." I realize. "I'm gonna go to another table, I don't wanna bother you. I'll see you later then." I smile as I walk away from him.

Joshua grabs my hand as I go. "You can sit here if you like. I won't bother your studies, I'm just gonna eat."

I force a smile and sit down. This feels weird. Alone in a cafe with my friend's boyfriend who I used to have a crush on? Strange.

I turn my focus to my laptop. Reading and writing notes on biology. I look over to Joshua, who is looking at his phone while eating a tiramisu. My eyes move on his lips and back onto him. He looks up and notices me.

We keep eye contact for a minute. I look away.

"Something wrong? Do I have something on my face or something?" He jokes.

"I- um. I'm finished. I'm gonna leave now Joshua, thanks for inviting me to your table..!" I pack my things and storm out.

Joshua sighs. "She's always leaving abruptly." Joshua says as he turns his head and attention back to his phone, Ji-Won is texting him.

(Thanks for making it this far in! Disclaimer: this is all my imagination. Nothing is true. Things that happen in this ff is unrelated to the people outside of it. I'm also starting to use images so readers can imagine the scenes more vividly while reading. Sorry if I randomly switch perspectives (first person and third person), I sometimes do that w/o realizing. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes as well.)