Devastating Times

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

"Andy's um... she's..."

"I'm pregnant." Andy blurts out and watches Chiefs Ross's expression turn from devastated to shocked.

"Herrera, I. Wow." Was all Chief Ross was able to get out.

"I know." Andy was looking down. "It's a lot."

"Are you okay? I mean after-"

"No, I'm not okay." Andy wiped her cheeks, "I can't deal with all of this. It's too much."

"Well, you're going to end up being off for a while, so you take time, you learn how to deal with it." Chief Ross got cut off.

"This isn't something I can learn to deal with, Ross," Andy told her, looking up at her. "How am I supposed to get past this?" Andy asked her. "I have to deal with this little baby person growing inside of me. I have to keep it. I have to make sure I do right by them and how the hell can I carry on my career while being pregnant?"

"You have to go on maternity leave, that's a given." Ross heard Andy sigh. "Maybe I can have you still working at the station in some capacity." Ross saw the hopeful look in Andy's eyes. "Andy, we might have to transfer you from your captaincy to a position in operations to a temporary modified duty assignment." Ross saw the disappointment form on Andy's face. "I know. It's not ideal but you need to think about what's best for you and the baby."

Andy looked down at her broken leg. She knew she wouldn't be able to work for a while anyways. "I know. I know I do." Andy looked at Vic and then Ross. "I'll take a modified position."

"Okay, I'm sure we can find an office-"

Andy cut Ross off. "No. I'll transfer when I get to my second trimester but for now, I want to stay at the station. I'll stay on reception, do any paperwork necessary but I want to be around my family, Ross."

"You stay away from the station until you're out of that cast. Understood?" Chief Ross asked, firmly, needing Andy to listen to her.

Andy nods. "Fine. Understood."

"I know this sucks, Andy, but you need to take it easy. You're caring for another person. A tiny person, but a person nonetheless." Meredith walked into the room. "Sorry, wasn't trying to eavesdrop but I was coming to talk to you.

Andy glared at her, knowing that she gave her Chief more ammo to use for her to stay away from the station. "Fine. I'll stay away." Andy looked around the room. "Everyone happy now?"

"No one is happy right now, Andy," Vic said. "We're all hurting, we're all struggling-"

Andy cut Vic off. "But I don't see any of you pregnant! You don't have to deal with something so serious, something so terrifying, something that's supposed to be a miracle. Something that's supposed to be a happy, joyful, celebration but instead I just get to mourn my best friend."

Everyone is silent, no one knowing what to say, knowing that Andy was right, none of them could relate to how she was feeling right now. After a couple of minutes of awkward silence, Ross speaks up.

"I better get back to City Hall. I need to go handle some things." Ross looked at Andy, "I know that you already have enough going on, but I am going to need you to sign some paperwork."

Andy nodded and watched Ross leave. She sat quietly as Meredith walked to her heart monitor and her IV, checking them. When she rested a hand on Andy's shoulder.

"How's your pain, Andy?" Meredith watched Andy look at Vic and Vic look back, eyes begging her to be honest.

"11," Andy answered. "I have a killer headache right now," Andy told her, not wanting to get into it right now, too tired.

"I need to talk to you about your leg, but I do need you to get some rest right now."

Andy was quick to reply, "Rest? Do you really think I'm going to be able to get some sleep right now? Mer, I just lost one of my best and oldest friends. How am I supposed to deal with that?"

Meredith sighed, "There's no specific way, Andy. You're going to figure it out as you go on. You just need to keep going, okay?"

"Okay," Andy whispers. Vic moves closer to the bed after Meredith puts some morphine in Andy's IV drip and then left.

Andy closed her eyes, not wanting to look at Vic or anything else.

"I know that this is hard, I know it's unbearable even but we're going to get through this. I promise. You have so many people who love and care for you."

"I know." Andy opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Vic. "Can you go over to my apartment and see if Carina's settled? I want to make sure she's okay."

Vic nodded. "I'll go when you fall asleep."

Andy shook her head. "I know you want to stay with me, but Carina just lost her wife. She needs our support right now and while I would love to be the one to be comforting her right now, I obviously can't since I'm confined to this bed." Andy could see that Vic was hesitant. "Please, Vic."

"Fine. I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?" She watched Andy nod. "Just try not to snap at too many nurses." Vic tried to joke and saw a faint pull at Andy's lips and saw her nod. Vic kissed Andy's forehead. "Do you want anyone to come and sit with you while I'm gone?"

Andy was quick to decline, "No, It's okay. I just want to be alone right now anyways." Vic nodded, kissed Andy on the lips and walked out of the room, turning back in time to see her girlfriend wipe the last of the tears off her cheeks.

Once Vic left the room and Andy was alone, she thought back to what had happened. She remembered the rope snapping and then falling.

"Andy, we both know this doesn't look good," Maya told her, breathing becoming harder.

"We'll get you to Grey-Sloan Maya, you'll be okay." Andy could still feel the tears that had fallen down her cheeks, "Please. Just please hold on." Andy had begged.

"Please tell Carina that I love her. That I love our baby even if she's not born yet."

"What? She's pregnant?" Andy was shocked.

"Andy, promise me that you'll tell her," Andy remembered watching Maya's breathing shallow. "Please, Andy," Maya had begged, her eyes closing.

Andy whimpered and choked out, "I promise Maya." Andy began to sob. 'I promise I'll help take care of them." Andy held Maya's gaze before her eyes closed. "I love you too, Maya," Andy had whispered. "I'll take care of them."

Andy's cheeks were stained with tears, re-living the event, cracking her heart even more than it already was.

I'm so sorry, Maya. I wish I could've done more.