Devastating Times

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

I'm so sorry.

Also, sorry for no updating my stories yesterday. Was working and stayed over at my boyfriend's last night. To be honest I needed a writing break anyway. Also, I'm a moron. Vic and Andy ARE married in this story. I don't know why I kept writing "girlfriends" so my bad if I confused you. Also, someone asked me to explain how Andy got pregnant, I actually have a plan for this story, unlike other ones, so please bear with me. This story is meant to be more Carina centric, but PLEASE bear with me. You'll get a lot more Carina than you're getting now in a couple chapters.

Previously:

Carina got onto the bed after grabbing a throw blanket and turned to face the opposite direction from Andy when she felt a hand on her back, Andy's hand.

Carina turned to face her and when Andy saw the tears, she opened her arms and Carina turned to face her, wrapping an arm around Andy's stomach, clutching onto her shirt with her free hand. Andy looked down sadly at the, now widowed, woman and her heart broke. Carina didn't deserve this. Maya had so much more life to live. Especially with her unborn baby.

Andy ran a hand through Carina's hair, trying to calm her and get her to settle so that she could, hopefully, get some proper rest.

The pair had been sitting in the same position for a couple of hours when Vic came into the room, quietly in case either or both women were sleeping. When she walked in she saw that Andy was awake but Carina was curled into her girlfriend's stomach, one arm clutching onto her shirt like she would disappear.

"How long has she been asleep, Andy?" Vic asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Only like 15 minutes," Andy answered, looking down at Carina and continuing to run a hand through her hair.

Vic looked at Andy and could tell she was exhausted. "Baby, you need to get some sleep. I know you're hurting right now, we all are, but you need to think about that baby you're carrying."

Andy continued to look down at Carina, making sure she was still asleep before looking up at Vic.

"She'll need our help, Vic." Andy's eyes teared up. "She'll have her friends at the hospital but they're nowhere near as close to her other than Miranda and I think, Jo?"

"I know, Andy." Vic nodded. "but you need to worry about yourself too." Andy nodded. "I'm gonna to our room and grab a blanket to cover you up but please get some sleep, Andy." Vic watched her wife nod so she rushed out of the room to grab a blanket and when she got back to the guest room her heart melted and broke at the same time. Carina had her arm around Andy's stomach and Vic noticed that Andy had moved down and now had her head rested on the pillow beside the one Carina was using.

Vic noticed that there was still space on the bed beside Andy so Vic got onto the bed and spooned Andy, sighing when she felt the tension leave Andy's body as she relaxed.

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It was two hours later when Andy woke up, pain in her leg. She whimpered and alerted Carina.

"Andy, what's wrong?" Carina sat up, Andy could see concern written on her face but couldn't answer because the pain was overwhelming. "Andy, just nod or shake your head, okay?" Andy nodded, showing she understood but as soon as she did she regretted it and brought a hand up to her head. "Alright, you stay here, I'll get you some pain meds," Carina told her, rushing off to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and some pain meds and rushing back to the room. Seeing that Vic was awake she handed the glass to Vic while she climbed back onto the bed and handed Andy the pain meds.

Andy took the meds in her hand, it was slightly shaking so Carina helped Andy bring the pills to her mouth and Vic helped with the water. They sat Andy up before doing so and when she swallowed the pills she leaned back against the headboard. About half an hour passed, none of them moving from where they were.

"Ans, are you feeling any better?" Vic asked and put a hand on Andy's cheek to get Andy to look at her. When Andy shakes her head Vic looks at Carina and frowns. "Can she take anything else?"

Carina shook her head. "Anything else right now would harm the baby" Andy looked up at Carina and a frown formed on her face. She reached to put a hand on her stomach.

Andy looked at Carina and then Vic and motioned for Vic to get up. "I'm going to go to our bedroom. Are you going to be okay alone Carina?"

Carina nodded and even though Andy doubted it she wanted her own space. Andy got off the bed, grabbed the crutches and rushed to her bedroom. She got to her bedroom and she looked around. She saw the baby books they were constantly reading to try to figure out what they could do to help move the process along. She picked up a book and threw it across the room, letting out a sob as she did.

It was six months ago and Andy was in her office at the station reading a book about parenting, hoping she would be able to get pregnant soon. She finished reading a chapter about how wonderful it is having your first baby and she couldn't help the anger she was overcome with. She threw the book across the room, forgetting that the door was open.

Maya walked into the office and Andy sighed. "shit".

"whoa, what's going on, Captain?" Maya asked, coming into the office and closing the door. She watched Andy sigh and looked from Andy to where she had thrown the book too. Maya picked it up and gave Andy a knowing look. "Andy..."

Andy raised a hand. "Stop. Just stop. I really don't need any pity right now."

Instead of answering Maya walked around the captain's desk and lifted Andy out of the chair and pulled her into a hug. She felt Andy tense and then relax after a few moments. Maya felt and heard Andy let out a sigh and then pulled back, still holding onto Andy's arms.

"Andy, I know how hard this has been on you two. You've been trying for six months and I know how tiring this process can be."

Andy nodded and looked down. Maya put a hand under Andy's chin and forced Andy to look at her.

Andy's eyes closed for a second, not wanting to see the look in Maya's eyes.

"I get you and Vic want this more than anything, pretty much as badly as you wanted the captain's position but these things take time. Trust me, I would know."

Andy looked at Maya and felt bad. She knew that Maya and Carina had been trying even longer than Vic and she had.

"I'm sorry, Maya," Andy said and walked out of Maya's grasp.

Maya walked in front of Andy. "Hey. Hey. I get it, okay? I get how frustrating and devasting this process can be." Andy nodded. "it'll be okay, you hear me?" Maya asked Andy and was glad when Andy nodded, not fighting her anymore. "Good, now, lets go get some food in you. I know you haven't eaten today." Andy gave her a sheepish smile and nodded. Maya held out her hand and Andy gladly took it, the mention of food making her hungry.

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Andy sank down to the floor in front of her bed, not caring about any pain she was feeling in her head and leg. She didn't care since she found Maya with a branch in her stomach and cried and she didn't care now when she broke down in tears.

Semper Paratus.

"Always Ready."

What it really means is that we're always ready to lose a member of our family. But when it's time to face that emptiness, when you realize you'll never see that face again, touch that skin, feel that warmth, listen to that heartbeat.

The question is are we ever really ready?