𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐓 𝐒𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄
in which, a young german girl comes
to her senses and starts to connect the
dots about her teenage years.
- all quiet on the western front, short story
- paul baümer x fem!oc
- lowercase intended
- all credit goe...
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𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄, 𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐓
𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐧 𝐧𝐨-𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭. he sat on the wooden bed, not the most comfortable thing but it was better than sleep in mud. his head was in his hands, thinking about everything that had just gone on - why did he do that? why did he follow that woman and his friends in the house?
he had ada. he had ada at home waiting for him, but yet she wasn't in his mind at the time.
the moment it was done; paul jumped up, got dressed and rushed out the house, leaving the french woman, (who he didn't even know the name of) inside confused at what his sudden rush was.
he felt like he was going to be sick - or like his very being was going to shrivel up into dust - he hated himself.
the boy had confined himself in the company of kat later that night, where he spilled everything. he didn't expect sympathy, he wanted kat to call him a moron or an idiot - but the man said nothing. paul couldn't blame him for saying nothing. kat never knew ada. the man had no clue about why paul's actions where such a big deal.
the brunette managed to convince himself that everything would be fine. that he would forget about it and ada would never know. but, oh, how wrong he could be.
it was albert. of course, it was albert. that black haired boy treated ada with the upmost respect. paul should have known the second albert turned around, refusing to follow the women any further. he knew that alber would tell her. but still didn't expect him to actually do it.
his close friend walked up to him while he was sitting against one of the walls in camp, a cigarette between both of their lips when albert broke the news. if paul didn't tell her, albert would. paul said nothing, leaving albert to give him one final warning before walking off.
he knew he had fucked up. ada had been nothing but good to him. she had been their for him, but that wasn't enough for him to stop himself.
he thought of things to blame, and he tried to blame everything else. the women. franz pushing him into it. they had a nice house. a nice garden. it was the first woman he had seen in years - but no, because deep down, he knew, that there was nobody to blame, but himself.
and it would eat him alive until his last breath - and he just hoped, that if he did make it out alive, and did see ada once more, she would forgive him - or, if there was an afterlife, she would forgive him once she got there to join him.
