Don't jump

Quick

*12.24 PM*

I ran down the stairs but fell down the last few steps. I landed with a loud thud.

- Tom what are you doing!?

I heard Gustav ask who was still sitting in the living room.

-BILL IS GONE!!

I screamed with panic in my voice.

I got up from the floor quickly and ran in to living room were Gustav was still sitting in front of the TV.

-What do you mean by gone?

He asked me with a confused facial expression.

I had trouble breathing after the fall, but I finally managed to get the words out

- I've been looking everywhere for him upstairs.

- Are you kidding me!?

Gustav didn't want to believe me, but I saw in his eyes that he was also scared.

-NO! This is not a fucking joke that we can laugh off! So help me search instead of watching that damn TV!

I shouted with anger that really came out due to the stress.

Gustav didn't say anything back to me, he understood that I was stressed and scared.

He got up from the couch and looked into my eyes it was like he understood what I was feeling it felt like he said it wasn't my fault. But it was, all of this was my fault. It was my choice to say what I said, and of course I meant to say sorry.

But it's not enough. If you drop a plate on the floor and it breaks, does it really become whole again just because you apologize? My point is that Bill has already heard the words I said and therefore saying sorry won't help.

We both started running around downstairs.

I was about to start crying but I held back the tears. The worst thing I know, is not knowing if Bill's okay.

We ran back and forth while calling out for Bill. We opened doors we had already opened, we entered rooms we had already been inside.

After we had looked around the whole house over and over again, Gustav and I had ended up in the living room. I was breathing heavily, my legs shaking from all the running.

I looked over at Gustav i could tell that he was tired to.

-What sould we do?

He asked me in a worried tone.

-I-i don't know...

I answered him in a weak tone.

I was trying to catch my breath but i couldn't.

-Are you okay Tom?

-NO! I'm not okay. I have no idea where Bill is. What if he is injured, we most find him! NOW!

I yelled as i ran out of the living room.

But then all of soundent i heard

"Breaking News. The sixteen-year-old boy Bill Kaulitz from the German band Tokio Hotel is currently standing on the rooftop of an old parking tower."

Hearing those words made my heart sink. I turned and looked into the living room.

- TOM!! GET HERE, QUICK!

Gustav shouted to me.

I ran inside and looked at TV screen. I was looked around in the background so i could find out where Bill was. Then I saw a sign in the background that made me immediately understand where he was.

-Gustav get the car keys!!

I call out to him as I run up the stairs to get Georg.

I slammed opened his door and Georg woke up.

-What are you doi-

I cut him off and said

- Please come.

He say anything to me he understood something was wrong.

Georg and I ran down the stairs.

Gustav handed me my car keys and all three of us ran out of the house and jumped into the car

-Can someone please tell me what's going on?

Georg asked us with a confused tone in his voice.

I didn't answer, I was too focest on the road. I was to stressed and scared to even take in what he said.

But Gustav explained to Georg what had happened.

-WHAT BUT WHERE IS HE NOW!!

Asked Georg to Gustav.

-I DO NOT KNOW!!

-QUIET!
I scream.

I felt my pulse start to quicken.

- But do you even know where we wer-

Gustav tried to ask but Georg patted him on the shoulder and said

-Be quiet.

I was driving fast, but I didn't care, all I could think about was Bill. I know I could never understand the pain I caused him, but just thinking about it made me want to cry. Knowing that Bill trusted me, knowing that he believed in me made me feel like an idiot. To say something like that to someone who has admitted having suicidal thoughts to you is idiotic.

This was all my fault. Bill would have never been in this situation right now if I had just kept my mouth shut none of this would have never happened.

From the distance they could see the crowds of people and the sounds of sirens became clearer, they were getting closer. The car quickly pulled in, the decks squeeking as they quickly came to a halt.

I got out of the car and I still felt sense of dread. The breeze hitting my bare skin. It was cold and unwelcoming.