Lux thought she knew exactly how this cruise would go: two weeks of awkward family dinners, no cell service, and way too much time to overthink the silence from the boy who stopped choosing her. She planned to keep her head down, her heart guarded...
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It's hard to enjoy something when you know it's ending.
Colt sat next to me, close enough for our arms to brush, and still, I felt a hundred miles away from everything. From him. From what today had been. What tomorrow would be. What came after.
The boat gently rocked, the stars above us quiet and full, but it all felt like noise beneath the thought circling in my head like a storm: there's only one full day left.
He noticed. Of course he did.
"You've been weird all day," he said, voice low, not accusing-just concerned.
I forced a smile and shook my head. "I'm fine."
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "No, you're not."
I didn't answer. I couldn't. My throat was tight, and everything I wanted to say was heavy in my chest.
He looked over at me, softer this time. "Whatever's going on, you can tell me. I mean it."
I stared at my hands for a long time. The words felt stuck. But eventually, I said the one thing that had been clawing at me since sunrise.
"I realized earlier that we only have two days left. And one of them's basically over."
He was quiet.
"And after that, you go back to California, I go back to New York. And we go back to our real lives, where this..." I motioned between us, "...doesn't really exist."
Still, he said nothing.
"I know it's dumb," I added quickly. "I just... it hit me out of nowhere, and I haven't been able to shake it since."
When he finally spoke, his voice was low, steady. "So don't let it be the end. We can stay in touch."
I let out a slow breath. "That's easier said than done."
"Why?" he asked, his brows pulling together. "Why can't we text? Call? I could come visit-stay in New York for a while. It doesn't have to end."
I looked at him then. Really looked at him. He meant it. And that made it worse.
"Because long-distance sucks," I said. "Because even friendships fall apart when people stop showing up. And we're going to be on opposite sides of the country, surrounded by different people and lives and distractions..."
"So what, you'd rather just never talk again?" His voice cracked slightly.
I opened my mouth, but no words came out.
Because no-I didn't want that.
But maybe it was the only way not to get hurt.
"I don't know," I finally whispered. "I just... need time to think."
He didn't push me after that. Just nodded slowly and looked away.
I wanted to stay. Wanted to press rewind. But instead, I stood up and left before I said something I couldn't take back.
⸻
Lacey was lying on her bed when I came in, scrolling through her phone with one hand and eating something crunchy with the other. She looked up as soon as she saw my face.
"You okay?"
I didn't answer. I just flopped down on her floor and stared up at the ceiling.
She set her phone down. "That bad?"
I hesitated. "He wants to keep in touch after the cruise."
She tilted her head. "He does, huh?"
"Yeah."
"And... what do you want?"
I paused too long.
Lacey caught it. "That's not a trick question, Lux."
"I don't know," I said-but it felt like a lie the second it left my mouth.
She leaned over the side of the bed so she could see me better. "Do you like him?"
I nodded slowly. "Yeah."
"Like, just-like-him or like-like-him?"
I laughed, barely. "It's more than just-like."
She nodded once, like she already knew that. "So what's stopping you?"
I closed my eyes. "It would be easier to just... end it. Let it stay here. On this boat."
Lacey didn't say anything for a while. Just let the quiet fill the space. That was something I loved about her-she knew when to joke, and she knew when to just be a sister.
"I get that," she said finally. "Sometimes, it feels safer to cut things off before they have the chance to fall apart on their own."
I didn't answer.
"Do you think he'd hurt you?" she asked.
"I don't know. That's the problem. I don't know him that well. Not really. It's only been twelve days. And he says all the right things, but... what happens when he's back home, around other people? Other girls?"
She nodded again. "Yeah. I get that too."
I blinked up at the ceiling, my chest tightening with something that felt like grief for something I hadn't even lost yet.
And then I remembered what our mom said to me once. It was right after things fell apart with Josh the first time. I was a mess, and she sat beside me on the couch and said it so gently I almost missed it:
"If you love something, let it go. And if it comes back, then it's meant to be."
I hated that advice back then. It felt cliché and cruel.
But maybe it wasn't.
Maybe it was the only thing that made sense now.
Because deep down, I already knew what I was going to do.
I was going to let him go.
Not because I didn't care-but because I cared too much to hold onto something that might not last. I'd rather remember him like this: all laughter and saltwater and soft touches under the stars. Not as someone I had to learn to forget later.
If he found his way back to me... then maybe it would mean something more.
