How I see you| Seungin✓

9|❤️

As me and jeongin left the spa we realized there wasn't a lot open by the time we left so we had to settle for a small diner. The only thing still open.

(...)

I picked up a couple of fries shoving them in my mouth as I listened to jeongin drone on about hyunjin. He was talking weirdly nice about him today. I mean sure usually, he talks about how generous or sweet he is or whatever, but most the time not without mentioning hyunjins sexual deviantcy. Uhg made me sick just thinking about it. I was grateful jeongin felt comfortable enough to tell me about those types of things but it still pissed me off.

Him not mentioning it this time was a good thing I guess. Maybe hyunjin had finally got his act together. Maybe.

"So yeah isn't that sweet? He said cheerfully. "Oh I almost forgot!" He said abruptly cutting himself off.

"Huh?"

"I kinda have bad news..." He said looking at me with concerned eyes as he stirred his milkshake.

"What do you mean?"

"Minho came by the apartment the other day......I asked him about jisung."

"Ok, what did he say?, Did something happen?" I asked eagerly awaiting to know what the hell was going on with my friend.

"Uh, well he said jisung doesn't want to talk to you until you talk to Felix........and apologize." My jaw dropped.

"What?!" Me apologize to him!, Why the hell would I do that." I complained in pure shock at what must be a misunderstanding on jisungs part because theres no way in hell he could possibly think I'm in the wrong here.

"I don't know, Minho said he didn't want to pick sides but jisung doesn't want him talking to you."

I barried my face in my hands.
"This is so stupid, how could he possibly be mad at me?" Jeongin patted my back as I vented a little longer.

"Jeongin, I'm really sorry but can we put off the last bit of the spa for another time? Cause I have to go work this out with jisung, this shit is getting ridiculous."

"Yeah, I understand Minnie that's alright I had a fun time anyway." He said sweetly as he got up from the counter.

"Yeah I did too, thanks for letting me come with, I had a lot of fun." I smiled back as I grabbed my keys and we walked for the door.

(...)

In front of jisungs house I sat in my car contemplating what I'll say. If he even opens the door that is. Ugh what the fuck is your problem ji-ji? I don't want to lose Felix, I love him but if he's got to go I can't lose jisung too. I took a deep breath as I looked up towards his house. I opened the door and made my way to the porch.
I raised my fist to the door taking a deep breath before I knocked.

I fidgeted with my hands as I waited for the door to open. I straightened my posture as I heard the door handle move. Jisung was standing in his pajamas, his face immediately dropping as he saw me.

"What?" He asked bitterly as he leaned against the door way.

"Listen ji-ji I don't know what Felix told you, but there isn't any reason for you to be mad at me." I argued practically whining. He rolled his eyes.

"You really think Felix lied to me?, Because he didn't, he told me the truth."

"Ok well if he told the truth then why the hell are you pissed at me?!" I asked. He growned.

"How are you so unselfaware seungmin?, You are just like Felix, why are you hurting him like this?" He asked coldly, as he leaned a bit closer to me, putting one foot out the door. My face scrunched in confusion.

"What the fuck are you even talking-"

"You!!" He snapped as he fully stepped outside getting in my face as he took a long breath preparing to rant. "I'm talking about you!, You have feelings for jeongin the EXACT same way Felix does for you! What he did wasn't right but at least he actually tried to confess!" My jaw dropped.

"Are you serious!?" I snapped breathlessly, in pure disbelief.

"Of course I am! how are you so blind? The exact scenario you've always been afraid of with jeongin rejecting you, is the exact nightmare you've been putting Felix through and you expect me to be chill!" I stared at him in silence as I contemplated his words.

"No, I wouldn't have done that to jeongin." I said dryly. He curled his fingers into a fist as he lowered his brow at me. he grabbed the door, slamming it closed in my face.

(...)

I sat in the middle of my bed. 9 pm. I stared down at my phone on my dresser. I felt like crying as I thought about what jisung said. He was completely right, I couldn't believe it, my best friend loves me and I shamed him, I hurt him more than he could have ever hurt me. I don't know how I'm going to make it better but I have to try. I picked it up. Taking a deep breath as I clicked his contact. "Don't fuck this up seungmin." I mumbled as I listened to the ring.

"Seungmin?" His quiet voice spoke sweetly.

"Hi, Felix....can we talk?"

"Yeah, yeah of course, just let me get to another room, I don't wanna wake up Chan." He said. I waited for a moment.
"Ok, I'm good now."

"Felix, I-i just want you to know, Im so sorry for telling you to go away and yelling, I love you Felix, you're my best friend." My eyes swelled as I spoke, I didn't know if he could tell.

"No I'm ok Minnie it was my fault please don't feel bad-"

"No it's not, that was the worst way I could have reacted, you didn't deserve that lix."

"You didn't deserve it either Minnie, I love you too, I feel so much better hearing your voice again.......can i tell you something. He asked softly.

"Uh yeah, of course." I responded.

"Me and chan are going to Hawaii in a couple of days, I really want to love him.......and I think this will help." He said hopefully. I could hear the weak smile on his face.

"I know you do Lix, it's gonna be ok you just have to let him love you."

"I know, I know it's just difficult sometimes. I've wanted you for so long......now that I'm trying to move on, I feel like I'm with a stranger, like I've been playing pretend this whole time." He admitted regretfully. I sighed.

"That's alright Felix, it's gonna be ok, you just have to give it some more time." I assured him.

"Thanks Minnie I know."