Blush- Gundham Tanaka x OC

Chapter 29

gettin to the end now mfs i cant believe this book took TWO AND A HALF YEARS TO WRITE😭author gave up multiple times but i also dont like leaving things half finished

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It's been a couple days since I saw what I did, and I haven't left my bed since. Not answered any texts, phone calls, nothing. This is the longest time my phone has stayed on do not disturb. Phone calls sometimes come through, but that's just my phone glitching.

I've barely eaten a thing, other than picked at the meals and snacks Kazuichi leaves for me on my floor. I feel bad. I haven't left the room in a while and I keep ignoring his every effort to get me out. Here I lay, wallowing in my depression, facing the wall as I snuggle into my weighted blanket.

My eyes are sore from all the crying, head constantly in pain, vision blurry. All that runs through my mind are the memories, the cold, dark memories that once sparked joy and happiness within. Yet now they leave me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a reminder of the gaping hole in my chest.

I never used to believe in the concept of love as everyone kept leaving me all the time, no matter how much they promised they'd stay. Nobody loved me for me, they all used me for my body, either that or as some kind of trophy. Yet Gundham showed me what love really is. It was beautiful. A feeling unlike any other.

But that was all torn away from me in a split second. And now I'm back to believing love is a false rumour made by people who believe they've found the one.

Laying in my bed, I hug my pillow and scroll through my phone, looking at all the stupid pictured Gundham and I took. Ones where he balanced his hamsters on my head, ones where I'm on his back, us at the park at night, shopping, in restaurants, on dates, in his house, kissing, cuddling...

I haven't got the heart to delete them just yet.

I set my phone down and lay back, feeling myself about to cry again when Kaz knocks at the door.

"Koko...?"

I don't answer, as per usual.

He sighs and walks in, making me look up in curiosity. It's nowhere near time for food yet. His eyes widen at the state of me, perching on the edge of my bed.

"Come on Koko...I'm really worried about you..." he sighs.

...

"Koko..."

"I really loved him Kaz."

My voice cracks, sitting up out of my bed. He looks over at me and sighs with sympathy, pulling me into a warm hug. I'm stunned into silence for a minute, basking in the unexpected comfort of the embrace. His hands stroke my back gently, squeezing me tighter.

"I'm so sorry Koko...I'm so sorry. I wish I would've done something," he sighs, keeping me tight in the hug.

My voice quivers before I begin to break down in his arms, sobbing into his shoulder and staining his black shirt with unstoppable tears. He gently shhs me in my ear, stroking my back and listening to me snivel and sob in his arms. The tears won't stop coming, this is something I've been holding in for a while.

"It hurts..." I sob. "It hurts so fucking much!! I loved him...yet he drops everything for some perfect blonde bitch the first chance he gets. I knew I was never good enough, and I never will be!"

"Hey, hey, please don't think like that...you're stunning Koko, he's just an absolute asshole," he says, stroking my hair. "I can't believe the audacity of that motherfucker."

"The way he looked at me...I thought I was his only love," I quiver, looking up at Kaz.

"Koko...you're a mess. You're not thinking straight, ok? Listen, I've taken the next couple of days off work, I'm worried about you, we all are. How about we just hang out for the day, me and you, just like old times huh?" he requests. "You really need to get out of this room."