winrina oneshots

Escaping Sand

Credits to  lovelessmiracle on ao3

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"I'll kill myself," Winter uttered.

She surprisingly wasn't feeling anything other than the need to end it all — with all the mess and whatnot happening in her life, this time she was serious. This time, the fear that was holding her back was nowhere to be found. All that's in front of her is her girlfriend, Karina, who has been shedding tears since Winter got home. It's not like this was the first time Winter lost it and really wanted to die. Karina always talked her out of it. Always. Somehow, this one's different.

"And what? leave me?"

"I don't care anymore."

See, Winter was having trouble with college, she got into a fight with her closest friends, didn't exactly like being at home, and her relationship with Karina was getting worse day by day despite how much they both tried to make it work.

Karina was also feeling the same way. She's been wanting to die, too. However, Winter still existed and no matter how much of a wreck their relationship became, she still held onto her. Karina's been continuously trying her best to achieve her mom's ideal daughter ever since she was young despite it not being what she truly wants. In fact, she was so buried under other people's needs and wants that she doesn't even know what's hers.

Winter was one of them.

"Then break up with me! Break up with me before you kill yourself!" Karina was angry. Miserably angry. She was fed up and tired and all she wanted was a hand to hold, but Winter couldn't give that with all the things she was balancing in hers.

Somehow, that was all Winter needed to be pulled back into reality. She was numb from it all, death was camping in her head as if it was already building a home, ready to take her in. Winter didn't want to lose Karina, though. Winter wasn't scared of death anymore, but Karina brought it all back. She realized the weight of all the words she said and all the actions she did. She wanted to back out and tell Karina that she didn't mean to. She knew it was too late, though.

"I can't—"

"Then I'm breaking up with you," Karina said between sobs

Winter hated it. Winter hated how she always lets her emotions get the better of her and how she easily forgets about Karina's feelings when she drowns in hers. Winter hates that they met at a time when both had no idea of what self-love was and were looking for love in the wrong place. Winter was a fucking mess, but Karina took her in. Karina had no place to go, but she gave herself so Winter had one. Winter was a fucking asshole.

Karina stormed past her, the one she always looked at as the love of her life. Yes, she's messy, problematic, and really hard to deal with but she was still everything she wanted. She always held her down and made her feel like she didn't exist but Winter made her feel. Winter showed her a world beyond what she was chasing for she didn't know existed. Winter was a pain but Karina was happy to be in pain so long as it came with bliss. This one's too much, though. She had to save herself from her. She had to save her. This is the only way she knows.

Winter froze. There's no one now. Just her. A noose. And the shirt Karina gave her. It was in her drawer but it was all she could think of. Karina is gone. Karina was fed up. Who wouldn't be?

She's scared now. Even more scared than she used to be. Karina was suffocating sometimes. Karina made her feel misunderstood and invalidated sometimes. Karina was still Winter's home, though. Winter was a firm believer that there's no such thing as "right person, wrong timing." She believed that if it's the right person, then it will be no matter the odds. She doesn't believe that anymore.