Perfect | C.S. (1)

0.12

A few days have passed since our last night in Monaco. We flew privately from Nice to Austin and had just been chilling with my parents at home. Carlos and my dad had their golf match, where surprisingly my dad beat Carlos. I called Lando and told him that I was bringing a guest to Silverstone and that she wanted to meet him, but she would need Mclaren passes and he said to not worry about it and that he would get her a guest pass. I then texted my friend Anne and told her that she was coming to the Grand Prix with me and to be there by Wednesday. Now, Carlos and I are about to go to my newly renovated home and stay there for a few more days before he leaves for Maranello. 

"You ready?" he asks me as we pull into my driveway. 

"Yeah, I'm excited to see what they have done with the place because I forgot what Charles and I had decided on," I explain. 

Once he parks, I get out of my car and I go to unlock it. I immediately am hit with the sense that this is my home. Carlos comes in behind me and takes a look around. The walls are painted a very light green that could pass as white in specific lighting. Every room was made up of earthy tones and dark wood tones. I went upstairs to the master bedroom. I see that the interior decorator did a similar vibe, but also added some of Charles' favorite colors. I rush out of the room. 

"What's wrong?" Carlos asks running after me.

"Nothing, I just realized that the interior decorator had assumed that since Charles was helping me with this process she put his favorite things around, but specifically in the master bedroom. I didn't realize that everyone had thought so highly of us. People thought that we were going to get married..." I trail off. 

Carlos engulfs me in a hug. "From the outside, everyone saw this perfect couple. People thought highly of you guys because your relationship had been so long-term and public. For example, Isa and I were together for 7 years, but people didn't raise us to the standards of you and Charles. I can't tell you exactly why, but I believe it is because your relationship was very public. Everyone around the world knew who you guys were. You guys were the so-called 'power couple' of the paddock. So, yes. Everyone thought you guys were going to get married and settle down with each other, but it seems as though you guys didn't think about that," he explains rubbing my back gently. 

"I did think about it at one point. It was right before I moved to Monaco with him. I thought that maybe that was what our life together would be like. Me living here and in Monaco with him. Traveling the world with him. I knew that kids would be out of the question until he was ready even if I had been wanting to fully settle down with him and get married and start a family with him for a whole year before that. I think every girl gets to that point in a relationship though," I say leaning back and looking into his eyes. 

"I know Isa did, but I didn't want to settle down with her," he says now avoiding eye contact. 

"What do you mean? You guys were together for 7 years and it didn't once cross your mind to get married to her and start a family?" I ask him forcing him to look at me. 

"It did at one point, but then I met another girl who completely flipped my world upside down. I could never have her, so I decided to settle with what I had. I proposed to Isa thinking that would be fine even though I wasn't in love with her anymore and she rejected me. She told me that she knew where my heart was and it was not with her... She let me go even though she was devastated. I never cheated on her physically, but mentally I was only thinking about one person," he explained pulling me even closer to him.

"Carlos..." I paused thinking about exactly what I wanted to say, "I don't know what to say. I know that you guys broke up because of me, but I didn't know that you proposed to her because you couldn't have me," I say looking up at him again.