Deadliest of Sins

Chapter 19: Longest Road Trip Ever

Chapter 19:

Annalissa's POV

Four hours. That is how long we had been in this stupid rental truck. Three of the four hours, we had not spoken a word to each other. To say I was getting stir crazy was an understatement. Athena had fallen back to sleep after forty-five minutes of some boring podcast Noah had Bluetooth to the stereo, leaving her dad and I in an uncomfortable silence. Being in such close proximity to Noah had my nerves on edge and me wanting to pull myself bald headed. Of course Mr. Perfect just drove so casually and was completely unaware of the emotional and mental torment he was putting me through.  

"Can you sit still for five minutes?" he growled with annoyance in his voice.

"Can you be nice for five minutes?" I retorted giving him the iciest glare I could muster. 

"My mother always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." he answered with a smug smile on his face, "So me not talking is being nice."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" I demanded "I have done nothing to you. Just yesterday we were fine, but the moment you come back from Home Depot it was like Dr. Jekyll was gone, and hello to Mr. Hyde!" 

"Drop it Anna." he warned.

"No! I want to know why you go from kissing me, to not speaking to me!"

"I said drop it." his voice was getting deeper and danger leaked from it, but I didn't care. I was tired of his bullshit and all that came with his damn mood swings. 

"You don't get to tell me what to do!" I exclaimed. "You have no right to treat me like trash!"

"Trash?" Noah dry laughed. "Trash doesn't run away in the middle of the night with my kid. I wouldn't compare you to trash. Trash deserves better." his sharp words had made me audibly gasp. How dare he!? I was taking care of my daughter. He and my family's lives revolved in never ending danger. I almost died and those biker piece of shit could have been killed, kidnapped, the list was endless. 

"How dare you! I almost died! Our daughter was in the other room! I could not sit there any wait for something to happen again." tears blurred my vision, but I didn't care. I was being villanized, and that was not cool. "Yes, but we could have protect-" 

"You couldn't protect us from shit! YOU WEREN'T THERE!! YOU LEFT US ALONE!" I screamed, causing Athena to jolt awake. I quickly shifted to face her and give her the snacks I had packed and her juice smiling at her weakly. When I faced forward I made sure my voice was even and calm. "You, left us that night and after everything, I begged you to stay with me. You still left." against my wishes my voice cracked. The tears were rolling down my check at this point, but I didn't care. "I did what I had to. For our daughter and myself. You weren't there." 

Silence once again enveloped the truck, making things hard to breathe. I breathed in and out slowly trying to steady my rapid heart rate. "I'm sorry." Noah's voice said from the left of me. 

"What?"

"You are right. I left you. I was tracking those mother fuckers down, I cared about revenge and I left you alone. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I can see now that wasn't the case. "

"So just like that, I'm supposed to forgive you and everything go back to normal?" the whiplash I was receiving was a little too much at this point.

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I still stand by what I said about you taking off with her and not telling anyone but I understand why you did it. I just think you would have been safer with your family and me. Not in some small town in the middle of nowhere, with some pussy ass  preppy frat boy who is trying to replace me." before I could argue with him about the snide comment about Ethan, he cut me off "I don't expect everything to go back to normal. I do, however, want to raise our daughter as co-parents and take you home to your family. "My mind was racing and my heart aching. Everything he said was smart and possible, but my stupid heart was hurt that he wasn't begging for me also to be included in his life. 

For two years I begged God to let me forget the taste of his lips, the smell of his skin, his beautiful smile, and the way he touched me and he never did. After that kiss yesterday, that's all my heart and head have been thinking about. All the love that I had for him though, could ever make up for him abandoning me. I needed to get over this love for him as quick as possible, it wasn't healthy. We needed to be good co-parents for Athena, and that's exactly what I was going to do. "Okay, but if we do that there can be no 'us'. Not now, not ever. You wont touch me in any way. That kiss was the last one. You will not talk to me unless it pertains to Athena. If we want to make this work, we can't let our own feelings get in the way. Positive or negative."

"The only type of feelings I have for you squirt are sexual and whether you believe it or not I can think with my brain instead of my dick." Noah smirked, which caused a heat to blossom far below. 

"Good. That's what we need." I say nervously, picking at my sleeve and turning to the window. The next 5 hours dragged ass. Every hour we stopped for Athena to pee and stretch our legs, which was the norm when traveling with a two year old. She slept the majority of the way and when she wasn't asleep she was watching Cocomelon. I was starting to think we'd never see the valley, but out of nowhere the palm trees started to appear. A whole that had been there for a long time felt a sudden tug, as if leading me home.

 In twenty minutes, I'd be seeing my family. The family I ditched without so much as a goodbye. The longing that I had been feeling was replaced with dread. Would they hate me? Would they be happy to see me? Would they even care I was home? How would Athena react to them? All those questions banged against my skull. As if sensing my internal battle, Noah placed his warm calloused hand on my thigh and gave it a gentle but firm squeeze. His hand was all I could concentrate on, like he knew it would pull me away from all the fears, that I'm sure were written on my face. I brought my eyes to his being filled with warmth from his stare. He gave me a small smile and let go of my thigh before returning back to the road. "Everything will be fine. Don't worry yourself sick."