COMING OF AGE | Nishimura Riki

022 | early childhood

nishimura riki
───────────

The sound of argument was echoing through the castle. Despite the voices being quiet, you can still hear the upset tone in their voice. The door to His Majesty's office is closed, decreasing the conversation volume.

Despite being curious about the conversation, I chose to pass by His Majesty's office. I don't want to eavesdrop on the conversation out of respect.

I threw my bag on the bedroom floor, not realizing the zip was opened which caused my books to fall out. I sat down on the floor to pick up the books when my eyes spotted a box underneath my bed that was lying next to one of the fallen books. Without any hesitation or second thoughts, I pulled it out.

The box is rectangle-shaped, red-colored, and covered in dust. It is also heavier than I expected it to be. I lifted the lid and placed it on the floor as I started at the inside. A photograph of me and Nicholas when we were younger greeted me.

Some of the memories I have are not there because I remember them in first person perspective, but because someone has recalled the memory for me. This photograph is an example of that, Nicholas had to tell me afterward what we did that day for me to remember it.

The conversation topic about memories never fails to make me sad. Memories are beautiful scenes that are imprinted in your brain, each memory is its own film roll. Unfortunately, all my film rolls are cut in half or lost somewhere.

I dug deeper into the content inside the box. I found more photographs, drawings I made as a child, plane tickets, and a photo book. The photobook contained photos of me from infancy to early school age, the majority of them were taken during a royal event.

It is a bittersweet feeling to see these photographs. I was thrown into the spotlight the second I was born, giving me no time to develop my own personality and no real childhood. People say it is a blessing to be born with royalty blood, but sometimes it feels like a curse. With royal blood in your veins, everyone already has their opinion about you because they assume you are just like the rest of your bloodline.

You are given no time to develop your own personality because you are forced to grow up with strict rules on behavior. Once you enter adolescence, a time you figure out yourself, who you are, and who you want to be. Despite finding yourself and your own personality, none of it matters because everyone will still assume you are just like the rest of your bloodline.

"Are you already home?" Her Majesty said as she opened my bedroom door.

She closed the door behind her and sat down next to me on the bedroom floor. I notice how Her Majesty's eyes lit up as they fell down on the photobook. The facial expression is priceless.

"Who was His Majesty arguing with?" I asked her.

"He was just upset over a business thing, nothing interesting" Her Majesty answered.

As Her Majesty filled the page, I noticed a photograph I had never seen before. It looked like a photograph taken during my early childhood and it featured me and a girl.

"Who is that?" I asked as I pointed at the girl in the photo.

"She is the daughter of one of our previous servants. I'm not sure if you remember him since you were so young, but he used to take his daughter with him so you had someone to play with. It's a shame I don't remember her name" Her Majesty answered.

Despite hearing His Majesty recalling a memory of my childhood, I can't remember anything that is connected with that girl. Based on what Her Majesty said does she sound lovely, and it really is a shame that she doesn't remember the name of the girl.

"But how come we stopped playing? Did her father stop working for us?" I questioned.

"We had to fire him. He was unreliable and a threat to our family, leading us to have no other choice but to fire him. And since he no longer worked with us, his daughter had no reason to show up" Her Majesty explained.

"You two got along really well. It was pleasing watching you two play, especially when your body language showed how happy you were. Even if her father would still work for us, your friendship with his daughter would not last long. An early separation was better for the both of you" She added.

"Because she is not like us, right?" I assumed.

"You being friends with our servant's daughter would not look good for our image. I would never allow you to spend time with people like her but since you were very lonely as a child, I made an exception" Her Majesty explained.

I thought His Majesty was the one I needed to hide Mai from, but it seems like I have to hide her from Her Majesty as well. I don't want Mai to be taken away from me just like I was separated from my childhood friend. A childhood friend I don't even remember having.

I wonder what happened after her father was fired. Maybe he got a job in another city. It is strange because even if I have no memories of her, there are so many things I would like to ask her. She is basically a stranger, a familiar stranger and I wished I had to opportunity to talk to her again.

I wonder if she even remembers me.