Halfway Through the Scale

Blind Ignorance

Chapter Three

My body trembles but I don't want to. Tears want to rain out, but I can't even control my eyes from going pink. I did my best to avoid the crowd by looking down on their feet, but their mocking faces made me want to jump out of my own skin.

I'm in a stall right now. In the bathroom of E Hall. I shake my head.

So fucken stupid. You couldn't have chosen a different hall to hide in,besides the one you were just humiliated in?!

It's the beginning of junior year, and it's blazing hot. As I wipe the liquid from under my eyelids, I want to assume that it's just the sweat and not the tears that were forced out. I should know better though. I sigh. Looking at the black walls and door surrounding me, I can hint my reflection. It suggests a big unknown object.

"Bitch? You in here!" Jasmine calls as I can hear her come in the bathroom.

I don't want her here. She's just a reminder of how fat I am.

"Stop acting like the fucken victim, and get out." Her stilettos reside to the second stall. I'm on the fifth. Tick-tock is what it says. She's coming to get me.

"Is she still in there?" I hear from afar. It's Destiny. She never touches a damn public bathroom.

"Yeah!" She begins towards Dedtiny's direction. "She better come out now before I knock her the fuck out, though..." Now to me.

"Are you sure she's even here?"

"Yes! Everyone saw that big fat bitch back her ass up in the bathroom." She ends with a snicker.

How embarrassing.

"Dotty Fucken Brooks! You better get the fuck out of the fucken stall before I find you and beat the fuck out of you!" For some reason, her high pitched voice doesn't affect me. Their faces cannot be replaced with some donuts or pizza to hide the pain. I can't get it off.

"Let's just leave the bitch." I can tell that Destiny is on her phone as does Jasmine by the way she just casually said it.

"Just wait a minute." Jasmine is cooled down. I sit myself down on the toilet. Cover my eyes with my fingers over the bridge of my nose and let out the tears that need to be released like removing the thorn from the skin. I can hear Jasmine finally approach the fifth stall and the sound of her high heels stop.

"Dot?" Almost in a sincere whisper.

Abruptly, the door is slammed open. I'm startled at Jasmine, whom of which just kicked herself in. Her perfect face, with perfect makeup and perfect figure. I shamelessly look down at the wet floor from the toilet water when it's being flushed.

"What the hell are you crying for?" She only questions because she has couched me to not care otherwise. The fact that she is even here with me right now, the fact that we are having this god forsaken conversation kills me inside.

She steps inside the stall and yanks my left ear. The burning sensation is unbearable. I'm on the verge of screaming bloody mercy but Jasmine takes the mic.

"You fucken stupid cunt! Don't give that bitch the satisfaction. You ran out like a fucken pussy." She hisses into my ear. The breath is so warm, it makes my ear boil up even more.

It immediately becomes an annoyance. Her presence.

I've never felt this before. But I'm sure as hell not going to continue with it.

I remove her hand from my earlobe more quicker than she can react to me taking a stance. Standing before her, why I can even trample her. She's so tiny compared to me.

She sighs, almost dragging it out.

"You're not going to do anything, so let us just go." She says flatly as she gestures towards the exit. Almost walking out of the stall, she grabs my left hand. I pull away immediately.

With only seeing her back, I can sense her irritation as she clutches her hands with the plastered nails on her. She let's out a loud groan.

"How do you know I won't?" I claim, not ask, because it's more of a threat.

"Because I was once you, and my mother was me. It's a cycle-"

"till the end." I finish for myself. I've heard her say it one to many times. Felt like it had power over me. Thought that if I was the one to say it, maybe I wouldn't feel so low as I do right now.

"I'll wait for you outside." And out she goes. As if nothing ever happened. I love yet resent that feeling. Once the sound of the stilettos comes to a stop, Destiny makes the stupid comments.

"What was all that yelling?" She still on her phone. She's not even interested in the response.

"Are you chewing gum?" Everyone Jasmine makes a rhetorical question, the human heart races faster and faster and faster. There's no stopping it.

"What? Hu.., no." She just stopped chewing on it.

I'm sure that Jasmine is simply gazing at her. Waiting for a slip up for evidence to prove that gum is inside her mouth. Playing with her teeth and tongue, saliva. It's an awkward silence.

"Well what happened? Is she still in there?" Destiny. They once called her DD, which stands for Dumb Destiny. She didn't even understand it at the time. It is during these remarks of hers that I wish I can make her comprehend what it all meant, just to intentionally hurt her.

Besides it all, this is a big no-no. As to try to change the subject to avoid punishment.

"She just needs a minute."

I rest my case.

I frown at those words. Is she really defending me?

Destiny giggles. "She needs what?" Again, these damn rhetorical questions.

Silence is in the middle again. I imagine Jasmine is giving her the eye. You know, the eye. The one that tells you to shut up because I'll crush your skull open. However, it also has that honey that makes everything sweet and mystical. Destiny doesn't part take much in the imaginative creation.

"Let's lock the bitch." I listen attentively rather then panic because again, Destiny is not so bright.

"First of all, I don't have the key. And two,.." then I hear a yelp. This time I don't know from who. "Don't fuck with Dotty." It's Jasmine. I know now since I'm standing in front of the display. Jasmine has her arms wrapped around Destiny's neck. Jasmine keep pulling her back in a hard core struggle. While Destiny is almost turning as bright as a tomato, with her hands scratching Jasmine's left arm, trying to reach for air to reach her lungs. It must be painful to be unable to not reach air. Once my eyes lock with Jasmine's brown caramel eyes, she releases Destiny. Whom of which falls to the floor on her knees and hands, coughing herself some air to enter her fragile body.

"You have a minute." Jasmine says as she catches her own breath and walks away to class. The bell for second period rang twenty minutes ago. I look down at Destiny. I reach for her, but she pushes my hand away. I just gaze at her struggle to detach herself from the floor with her mini pink skirt and the small pink coat covering her dazzled white bra.

"Don't touch me, you fat pig!"

"Didn't you here Jasmine?" I get closer to her, because she too is small. However, unlike Jasmine, Destiny has no experience in aerobics. "Don't fuck with me."

"I don't care what the fuck Jasmine said. You're still a fat fuck to me." She walks into E Hall and then suddenly stops, and turns around. "And I'm not the only one. I may be dumb, but I now know that after today, everyone will remember you as the fat fucken pig!" She almost crackles towards the end.

I guess she does know she's dumb.