ABOVE & BEYOND : IF WE ARE MEANT TO BE

CHAPTER 29

DUAA

"A secret in exchange for another secret."

Interesting.

"Okay but are we taking lemon shots again or something else?" I asked as he combed his hair with his fingers. "We are not. It's truth and truth."

Okay, I was into it. I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious about his life. I wanted to know more about him. "You still have time, brownie. Say no and we won't play." The nickname almost gave me goosebumps. No, it's his voice. Now that we are alone, his voice seems to echo or maybe it's the way he leaned forward before talking.

I wasn't sure but it didn't bother me.

"Oh don't worry about me boy. I'm not backing off." he tilted his head slightly and smirked. "Okay then, I'm starting. Why did you never allow me to touch you on the name of your religion but had sex with your ex?" I took a deep breath. Somehow I knew this was coming.

"Love made me blind enough to cross my morals. I was in the worst state of my life. That feeling also made me blind enough to be manipulated." "What do you mean manipulated? Did he force himself on you?" His jaw hardened. If I knew him enough I would say he is angry but I didn't.

"No, he didn't. He just pushed me to embrace my desires and I did." "why would you.." "ah ah, my turn to ask now. You cannot ask so many questions at once."

He leaned back and exhaled loudly. "The same question from before. Why do you think love is overrated?" "isn't it. Look what it did to you." I rolled my eyes. "Stop being an ass or else I'm out of here." Why was he pissed anyway? He seemed perfectly fine minutes ago.

He didn't say anything for several seconds. "Love is selfishness. People are so into the idea of love. It's just ridiculous. They just assume love is all happiness and butterflies and stuff but they are just living in a fantasy world rather than living in reality." "and why is that?"

"When you love you become selfish. So selfish that you don't realise how it is affecting the people around you. It's just messy." my heart skipped a beat because he wasn't just talking about love among lovers. He was talking about love in general. He never experienced it.

"You're just talking about the bad parts. There are also good parts." "yea well, it's hard to believe. Anyway, it's my turn. Do you still love your ex?"

"Seriously? You don't have any other topic?" he just shrugged. "No, I don't! I got over him ages ago." he just nodded. "Okay, did you ever have a serious relationship?" "no, I didn't and never want to. Just keeping things casual" here comes our differences. I don't know why I felt that burning sensation in my heart. "But hey, you never know if the casualty turns into something serious." he added with a little smirk.

"So basically you will just get laid until something serious happens?" I asked. "Getting laid is so much easier and fun. I can just do it without being in love or any kind of emotional stuff and I don't mind it at all." "and you are willing to spend the rest of your life like that?" "yep."

He was smirking. It was making my blood boil. Like how can you be stupid and dumb? I wanted to slap the smirk off his face. "Don't look at me with those judgy little eyes." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Okay back to the game. At what age did you lose your virginity?"  "19." his eyebrows raised. "Oh so you are judging me now?" "no, I'm not. I am quite impressed." "yeah? When did you lose it?" "at the age of 16." "hmm. To be honest I expected it to be lower."

He let out a small laugh. "Well, I don't blame you." "so what was it? A random one night stand? Or someone you knew?" I asked. "Her name is Sky. we had gone to high school together and we used to hook up before I moved out of here."

"And are you still in contact with her?" "umm..kinda. We are friends with benefits so.." I made a disgusting face while he just smirked. Ohh, she is that girl I saw in his story once. I don't know if I just was disgusted or I was feeling something else too.

"And who did you lose your v card to? The famous ex? What's his name anyway?" I snorted a bit. "Yes, the famous ex and the answer to your second question is Noah." he repeated the name again. "So after him you never slept with anyone?"

"Another question about him!" I looked at him unbelievably as he shrugged. "Okay this is the last one." "No. He was the only person I have ever been with and the next person will be my husband. That's it." something shifted in his expression but he ended up nodding.

"Who is the one person you hate the most in the world and why?" I asked, not wanting to talk or know about each other's sexual life anymore.

He didn't say anything for several seconds and he seemed hesitant which just built up my curiosity.

"My mother." oh boy. This is not the answer I was expecting. "Umm, it's fine if you don't wanna tell me why." he looked at me and chuckled. "Why? Cause you think it still hurts me?" "well..." "I was six, Duaa. Six when she left me. Abandoned me and didn't look back even once when I cried and begged her to stay. So, no. I doesn't hurt anymore."

I was so concentrated at his words that I wasn't sure if I was breathing. "She slapped me across the face and said get away from me you piece of shit and just drove away." oh my god. That is traumatising. No wonder he doesn't believe in love.

A lot of his characteristics were making sense now. It has been seventeen years since but it still traumatises him. My mind went back to the night he barged into my room in the middle of the night.

He was smiling the whole time he was saying it. Gosh, this man actually needs someone loving in his life. It has been so many days but I have never heard him talking to any of his family members. Today on my way back home I had a talk with his grandfather who asked me how he was doing. So, he is not close to grandfather as well.

"I'm sorry, Eryx." I didn't know what else to say but I meant it. "Don't. Don't pity me." "I'm not. I'm sorry because you had to go through that. No one deserves it and neither did you." We stared at each other for a long time. I have looked at him before but this time it felt different.

Like I wasn't just seeing what he is showing. I'm seeing what he has been hiding.

A broken lonely boy.

He sighed heavily. "Anyway. My turn." damn. He still wanna play? "Ok go on then." I said as I opened the water bottle in front of me. "If it was not for your religion, would you have slept with me." I spitted the out all the water I was about to swallow. What the..

"No! Of course not!" he laughed out loud. "You totally would." "no, I totally wouldn't!" he continued to laugh which made thrown the bottle at him. I am getting annoyed now. "What made you think I would?" he finally stopped laughing.

"Because you replied way too fast." I did? "No I didn't." "Oh you sure did, brownie. Normally you think for a second to reply but it was way too quick as if the thought was running through your head." My cheeks were burning, the ears were hot, heart was pounding. As if I got caught red handed.

"Shut up. It's not true.I'm gonna smack your face, Eryx." "well that requires you touching me. So I'll be more than glad." what the... "well, I can always throw a knife at your face." he laughed again and it was so wholesome it almost made me smile.

My smile turned into a laugh as he choked on his water. "That's what you get." he finally stopped choking and joined into the laughter.

"Well, now that I know you have thought about me, I'm not regretting what happened two days ago." he said between the laughter. "What happened two days ago?" I asked. "I had a sex dream about you."

Wait what?

He froze. I froze. His eyes widened.