Beetle

Chapter 13

After my shift, I don't bother going to Arrow Fields Park because I know in my bones Kitty isn't lying. Not to mention, it makes perfect sense as to why Remi is always there; it's where he died.

I should be more upset about my failure to ask Kitty more about Remi but part of me knows Kitty doesn't work that way; everything is on her terms.

I spend Sunday writing a paper and the day goes by pretty quickly because I woke up late. I also made blueberry muffins using muffin mix which is something I never do. Kaylee face-timed me while they were in the oven and it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. We didn't talk about why I left the party early and pretty much abandoned her. I think she thinks we're even because she laughed while Trevor was being touchy towards me and I left her at that party with no ride. Neither of us apologize, we just move on.

Ben and I both help with dinner, spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic bread. It's nice to have a sit down dinner but at the same time all it does is remind us of our loss.

It's amazing how normal it is, just sitting around the table like a normal family but unlike most families grief lingers like a stench. There's light chatter to cover it; Ben and I go back and forth in a loving way but it fails to distract us from what's missing.

While in bed, I'm so drained I know I'm going to fall asleep fast. I'm fearful of the dream ahead but I know deep down that they aren't really dreams. I appreciate that Remi comes while I'm sleeping, and not while I'm with Ben or worse at school. It also makes sense that it happens while I'm sleeping because your mind is mostly at ease and above else vulnerable during rest.

I expect to see Remi but instead I am taken back to the school in the mountains; Beetle Academy.

I look for Carla, knowing as soon as I find her I'll find answers. I walk the long halls, there's very little light and I wonder if it's because the student body at Beetle Academy don't need it. The marble floors are pristine and polished, the dark walls add a sort of darkness that fits perfectly with my idea of the school.

Walking around is uncanny but I'm grateful that I'm alone. I search for Carla which means going back to her dorm room, room 132.

I'm expecting it to be locked but it's not. I push the door open and walk in. There's two beds but neither Carla or her roommate is here. That doesn't stop me from calling out just to make sure. Something pulls me into the bathroom, it might be the fact that the light is on and I never turned it on.

"Hello?" I call out, I don't feel bad walking in because the door was never closed. When I walk in the first thing I do is pull the shower curtain back because I've seen way too many horror movies where the girl gets murder that way. After, I turn around; I can't stop the scream that comes when I look into the mirror.

I wake up covered in sweat, though I don't care because I run to my bathroom. Satisfied that it's me and I'm not trapped in Carla's body I relax. Really, the jokes on me; it was just a dream. My brain is fucking with me there's no possible way I could have possessed Carla Mills since her body is at least six feet under more than a thousand miles away. Than again, if you told me a few weeks ago that I could see the dead I would have rolled my eyes.

First period goes by in a flash. Kaylee brought me a double-double from Tims which was greatly needed since I couldn't fall back asleep after my dream. As a result I now feel like shit.