THE TALES FROM COPPER 9! Volume 1 (Murder Drones)

A New Teammate - Chapter 010

I walked over to Uzi, helped her up, and walked over to N.

N: "Je-e-e-eez , I've really-y-rea-y-ly gon-n-ne and do-o-o-o-one it this t-t-time-me, ha-ha-haven't I?"

"You're still awake, good, now I can let you know that by tracking us down and letting the other murder drones in here, you have sealed the fate of an entire colony of innocent civilians."

N: "Ah, B-biscuits, I'm so-o-orry, I doomed all those workers, and ruined your card game, then I made you have an a-aw-wkward moment with your dad."

Uzi: "And then I made you rebel like an angsty teen, which got you killed. Though, you also tried to kill me, so my morality calls this a draw. Nnnnngggg.... Hey, Mercenary! Little help?"

"Sure."

I moved a large box under the vent and Uzi, after climbing onto the box, tries to reach it to no avail. She sighs angrily, turns and continues speaking to N.

Uzi: "For the record, that was the lamest heel-face turn in history. Was that supposed to be you changing sides?"

N: "Being re-ebellious is a lot harder than it lo-oo-ooks. Thanks for showing me the ropes."

Uzi: "Nuh-uh! No bonding thing, you just killed a bunch of people dumbass."

N: "That's super fa-air. I screwed up."

"Let me guess..."

Uzi: "In the same way your about to fix it?"

N: "Haahaahaa... I lo-ov-ve do-o-oin-ing anything."

Later.

Uzi: "Hey! Put that conventionally attractive male down!"

V and J turn to see that Uzi, myself and N, are standing together in a squad. N is waving at V and J happily, until Uzi punches him in the side, snapping his focus back.

N: "Uh, J, you're sometimes kinda mean to me, and I wish you weren't. Just some constructive criticism."

Uzi: "Nice!"

"Good job standing up for yourself, kid."

J: "Grrrr... Noted, Traitor, we'll circle back after I right-size your existence."

Uzi: "Okay N, which one do you want?"

N: "J please?"

"Too bad kid, go kick your crush's ass!"

V: "His what?"

N: "NOTHING!!!"

Uzi then clicks a JCJenson pen that she had on her, and throws it directly into one of the 5 bulbs on J's head. N, then turns towards V and does a gesture with his hands; 🫵, 👆, 👍? V responded by sharpening her blades and launching towards N.

THE BATTLE BEGINS!

Uzi: "Gotcha in my sights now!"

J: "Gah!!"

J then swapped her hand out for an SMG, firing upwards in Uzi's direction, knocking Uzi over momentarily. J then pulled the pen out of her head and spoke.

J: "Damn the well-made quality assurance of JCJenson's products!! Huh?"

Uzi then flipped forwards in the air, kicking directly into J's hand, pushing the pen she just pulled out straight into her monitor.

"Ooh! That's gotta hurt!" I said, whilst trying to unjam my Rifle.

"Out of all the bells and whistles, Globak couldn't have made it jamming proof?! WOAH!"

I ducked down, as a sheet of white-hot energy swept over my head, barely clipping my helmet. I turned and saw V approaching N slowly, N countered by equipping a heavy beam cannon, that instead of shooting a laser, shot a stream of pink heart-shaped bubbles, which healed V's injuries.

N: "AGH! MY MIND'S IN A WEIRD PLACE, DONT READ INTO THIS!"

"N, GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME! SHE'S TRYING TO KILL YOU!"

A missile then landed right next to N, exploding and throwing him sideways.

"SEE?!"

I turned back to where J was and saw her pull the pen out of her face, then laughed maniacally as she charged up a blue ball of energy, which she then dispersed, fully shutting off my armour and knocking Uzi out cold. I ripped off my helmet, and took off my armour, leaving me with nothing but a pair of trousers and underwear I put on beforehand.

"Osiris! The second my suit comes back online, let me know! It's cold as fuck out here!"

J: "Damn, you look toned!"

"Yeah, and this sexy, muscled man is about to rip your shell in two!"

N continued to battle with V in midair, clashing into each other multiple times. N was then pinned between V's blades, and saw J approaching me, thinking I was completely helpless without my armour, he was highly distraught.

N: "UZI! GUY! Oh, V, I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do. Have fun repressing this!"

N then licked V's blade seductively, causing her to back away quickly in disgust.

V: "EW! What the hell!?"

N then threw V into the ground, knocking her unconscious. Uzi then began to grab for her gun. J, having pinned me to the wall with a piece of rebar, began playing a monologue.

Quite literally so, she began playing an audio file called 'BestMonologueEver.mp3' allowing Uzi to grab J's tail unnoticed and stick it in her leg.

J: "GYAH! FOUTH QUARTER PROFITS! MOTHER OF COMPANY LEADERSHIP RETREATS!"

Uzi then used J's tail to trip J over, picked up the railgun, and pressed it right against J's forehead.

Uzi: "One more buzzword and I'll do it!"

J couldn't resist and tried to say something about 'equity partnerships' or something, but was quickly cut off, as the beam completely disintegrated J's upper half of her body. Afterwards, the only thing left of her was her waistline, legs, and chunks of her arms that hadn't been caught in the precise blast.

V: "You! You killed her! I'll make sure you pay later! But YOU..."

V then turned towards me, freshly reawakened from her unconscious state, her eyes glowing red with anger.

"We, have unfinished business! And now you don't have your special suit to protect you, I will tear You To SHREDS!!!"
V then bolted at me with a running sprint, arms poised to slice me in half.

N: "No, you won't-."

"Don't worry N, I'll handle this."

N expressed a very worried expression, as I walked slowly in V's direction whilst she was charging towards me at bullet-like speeds. I however, had a trick up my sleeve.

V: "I WILL KILL YOU, EVEN IF I HAVE TO DO IT BIT BY BIT, MOLECULE BY MOLECULE, ATOM BY ATOM!!! RRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!"

V slammed into my body at the speed of a jet with the force of a freight train. But, just like when I had my suit on, to no avail. My body hardened when her blades met my skin, and the blades couldn't even get through the first layer of flesh. Everybody nearby was shocked to see I was unscathed, and V's mood took an instant turn.

V: "Wh... wha... how?"

"Nanomachines, bitch."

I then threw my tree-trunk sized my hand upwards into her jaw, throwing her straight upwards into the ceiling. I then jumped up, grabbed her leg out of the ceiling, swung her down into the ground, and pulled a JOHN CENA!!! By landing down onto V with an earth-shattering grand slam.

"With no suit to restrict my movements, I can snap you in half before you even blink... That's not a joke for the internet to enjoy."