THE TALES FROM COPPER 9! Volume 1 (Murder Drones)

Nice Corpse House My Guy - Chapter 008

Before I could say anything, her attack was already in motion, and her weapon hit with a loud, 'smack!' which... barely did any damage, only waking it up. Okay, I know how to get rid of them, all I have to do is pull the old 'return to sender' move.

?: "Did you just slap me with that arm?"

Wait, what?

Uzi: "Holy crap it talks."

?: "Yeah, sorry it's just my head kinda hurts. Hey, are you new to our squad? You're a little short for a disassembly drone, and you're quite tall for a disassembly too!" The murder drone said pointing to Uzi, then me.

"...Osiris, please scan that drone for me?"

Osiris: "Of course, sir.... ...It seems the drone's facial recognition system is malfunctioning, meaning it cannot identify if a drone is not a disassembly drone."

"*psst* Uzi, they can't tell we're not disassembly drones, follow my lead."

"Errhm, yes, we are new drones, class 2 industrial disassembly drones, myself being an XXL type and her being a XS type, which is why we differ in size."

?: "Oh, I didn't know there were different types of disassemblers? But, the more the merrier I guess! Anyways, I'm Serial Designation N!"

...N? Why does that name sound familiar?

"I'm sort of the leader of the squad around theses parts....  That's not true, everyone tells me I'm useless, wait. I'm not supposed to tell you that part! ..Biscuits.... Well, I suppose honesty is the best policy! I also can't seem to remember the past three hours of my life, but I'm sure that will sort itself out! Oooh, that looks bad."

The drone's monitor then twitches and glitches, I turn and see that N is pointing at Uzi's hand, which is still melting rapidly.

"Shit, right, errr.... Yeah, whilst you were... sleeping, my colleague was interested by your tail and attempted to take a closer look and you accidentally pierced their hand."

N: What?! I stuck you?! Oh, I'm so, so, so sorry!"

Uzi: "Just please tell me you can stop this? It hurts like hell!"

N: "Oh, yes of course... oooh, but you're probably not gonna like it."

"What's wrong?"

N: "You see, the way my type of disassembly drone's neutralises the acidic Nanites in our stingers is through our... Saliva."

Uzi instantly expressed a shocked face, that quickly swapped to a disgusted one. She turned to him and looked horrified, before turning to me with an expression of aggressive denial.

Uzi: "No."

"Uzi..."

Uzi: "IM NOT PUTTING MY HAND IN HIS MOUTH!!!"

"Uuuurrrgghhh... disassembly drone, wait over in that landing pod over there. I'll stay out here to convince my colleague."

N: "Okay, I love doing anything!"

Time-skip

Uzi removes her hand from N's mouth, which is now covered in saliva, but also fully repaired.

N: "*Bleh* Okay, I'm open to new things I guess?"

Uzi: "We. Are never. Talking about this. Again."

N: "Talking about what? Consider it repressed!"

Uzi: "Anyways, you mentioned you were in a squad? Are the others coming back soon?"