¹Destiny | Padme Amidala

Timothee's First Step

My journey did not seem to end. I let myself be guided by the Force, trying to perceive the presence of my mother. The sun had already set as I roared through the eternal deserts of Tatooine. It reminded me of the Boonta Eve race ten years ago.  However, it did not fill me, it otherwise also with glee, but with pure hate.

 The second sun began to set and let the sky almost reddish. When I passed by a transport vehicle of the Jawas, I asked about the location of the Tusken raiders. One of the Jawas explained, but since I didn't speak Jawa, I had to concentrate on his hand gestures.

After hours that felt like a decade, I finally reached my destination. Tatooine had by now been dipped in a dark blue, and the suns had gone to rest.

I jumped from my speeder and squatted on a rock on a cliff while I watched the Tusken camp. I felt my mother. I felt her suffering, how long she had been held hostage here. I felt every single wound that was added to her, every pain that she had to suffer.

My face darkened as I jumped and quickly hid behind one of the huts. I heard the growl of their massiffs that let me know they were not far away. Quiet as a shadow I ran from one hut to the next. When the presence of my mother became stronger, I stopped. This was the hut where they were holding her.

I pulled out my lightsaber and without hesitation I rammed it into the wall of the hut to make a hole through which I could pass. The dogs were too busy fighting themselves.

As I slipped through the hole I saw something that tore my heart to pieces. It hurt worse than the night Padme and I had decided not to share our lives. My breath, as well as my pulse, picked up speed.

There was my mother, who strapped to a rack on the side of the tent,with her back to me. Her arms were stretched out and tied at the bloody wrists. And as she turned to the side, I saw scars adorning her face.  Dried sweat from the fire that burned as a light in the hut dripped down her head.

Full of hatred and rage at at myself and the Tusken Raiders,I headed for her. Unleashing her hands, my movements became smoother. Her body fell into my arms. "Mom?" I whispered, afraid she would break if I spoke too loudly. Her eyes opened.

"Timmy?" She asked me uncertainly. She lifted her hand to my cheek to reassure herself that this was real. "Is it you?" "I'm here,Mom. You're safe. Don't worry." I took her hand in mine. The lifeless eyes of my mother bored into my own and I felt emptiness deep inside me. "Timmy?" She asked me again, just to be really sure.

"Oh,you look so handsome." A soft smile settled on her lips as she placed her hand on my cheek again. The lust for life that usually shone in her eyes had vanished into thin air. Now it looked as if two empty doll eyes were staring at me.

I snuggled up to her, giving her hand a gentle kiss. I knew that these would probably be the last words we would exchange and I wanted to savor the moment, but I didn't want to admit it. I couldn't. I tried desperately to stop at my mother's spirit, to bring her back to the world, but the Force had already decided her fate.

"My son,oh, my grown-up son." She whispered to me, nothing but love in her voice. "I'm so proud of you and your brother,Timmy." I swore that I saw a little life return in her. "I've missed you very much. And I know Anakin missed you too." I finally dared to say something. The words just bubbled out, I had no control.

"Now I am complete.."She said as she stroked my chin like she did when Anakin and I were kids. A small smile formed on my lips,but it disappeared as quickly as it had come,as she tried to utter words. "I love you and your brother-" Her voice failed, her eyes went lifeless and the darkness seemed to consume her.

I tightened my grip around her body. "Stay with me,Mom. Everything...." I said desperately. I listened to her hopeless whimper. My heart tore into pieces again, was then scattered to all corners, into cold oblivion, where Mom would also soon land. I could not bear the thought, as if he would strangle me. I could not live without my mother.

"I love-"Before she could finish her sentence, her voice failed again. The tears that had already formed in my eyes now dared to roll down my cheeks.Her head tilted back, her warm hand stiffened like that of a doll.

All I felt was lostness and brokenness.  They had taken away what was most important to me.  My vision was blurred. Suddenly I didn't feel real, a feeling that can't be described. As if I was trapped somewhere between space and time, but nothing really existed. I gently folded my mother's eyelids shut.

Then, as I looked up, another feeling came over me that I had never felt so much before. Anger, hatred and suffering over flowed me like a tidal wave. My mind was in absolute chaos, but the first thing I thought of was revenge, revenge on the Tusken Raiders for taking my mother from me.

I stood up and reached for my lightsaber. Then I pushed open the door of the hut and went outside. The two guards who were sitting in front of the hut where they were holding my mother gasped in fright and held their staffs. Immediately they lunged at me, but I ignited the shimmering blue blade from my lightsaber, and with two blows I aggressively felled the two Tusken men. My anger  was not yet quenched.

"No... Timothee... No!... Don't, no, don't!" I now heard a desperate voice that begged me to withdraw, to turn away from this anger. I recognized that it was the voice of my brother, although I was too filled with my agony and anger. In front of another hut, I saw a Tusken woman carrying a bucket of dirty water outside, and I discovered a Tusken child in the shadow of another hut, staring at me in disbelief.

 Then I moved, although I was hardly aware of this movement. My blue blade flashed, and I hurried on. The Tusken woman screamed and was pierced. Now the whole camp was on the move, Tuskens rushing out of every hut, many with weapons in their hands. But I was already entangled in my dance of death, in the energy of the force.

 I made long, high jumps, skirted a hut and landed before the two Tuskens realized I was there. A third attacked,thrusting a spear at me, but I raised my hand and built a wall of force. Then I thrust my hand forward, and the spearman flew thirty meters backward and broke through the wall of another hut.

 I turned away again, the blue blade twitching here and there, each blow striking down a Tusken, each cut dropping a limb of an enemy to the ground. Soon no more warriors confronted me, all tried to flee, but I did not allow it.

I saw a group running toward a hut and grabbed a large boulder with my mach. The boulder answered my call, flew across the sand, knocked down a fleeing Tusken, and flew on. I dropped the boulder on the hut full of Tuskens and killed them all.

I kept running,my steps lengthened by the Force, over taking the fleeing ones and slaughtering each one. I  no longer felt empty, I felt a rush of energy and power beyond anything I had ever known, felt filled with the force of power, full of life.

And then suddenly it was over and I was standing in the rubble of the camp,surrounded by dozens of Tusken corpses, and only one hut was still standing. "What have you done?"I heard the desperate voice of my brother again,  although he wasn't actually here. I ignored it and put my lightsaber away before I returned  to this  hut, where I carefully and gently picked up my mother's body.