Cruel Summer | ✓

chapter twenty

"I can go back to the guest room when they get here, if you want," I say to Lou as I take one load out of the washing machine and put another on while she sorts out the drying. We've been spring cleaning since yesterday afternoon, polishing up the house before its occupancy doubles in a matter of hours. Ashley's flying into Boise from Portland and Connor's driving over from West Yellowstone, picking her up on the way. Last time I checked, Ashley's flight was still on time, landing at 2pm, and Connor left at eight this morning in time to meet her at the airport. They'll be here any time after four and I can't wait, but I'm nervous too. I'm not sure how Lou wants to play this. A lot has changed since I arranged for my cousins to come here.

"That's up to you," she says, folding a pile of sweaters and leggings. "If you'd rather they didn't know about us, then—"

"Oh, god, no, that'll be their first question — they already know I'm into you and they're both queer, so it's cool, they won't be weird about this." I sneak a look at her. She's smiling at her hands as she folds. "I just wasn't sure if you wanted, you know, to keep it on the downlow or anything."

"No. We have nothing to hide." Her shoulders lift and drop, the smallest of shrugs. "Not by my measure, at least."

"Okay. Good. With this being your town, your territory and everything, and, you know, you have a kid and ... yeah. I just didn't want to step on your toes if you wanted to keep this quiet."

Lou stops what she's doing and waits for me to look up and meet her eye. "I don't feel the need to keep you quiet, Charlotte. You're not stepping on my toes, don't worry." Her eyes twinkle with her smile. "Anyone who matters to me already knows I'm bi, Issy included, and you and I are two consenting adults. It's nobody else's business what we get up to."

"So ... we're on the same page?"

"I want you in my bed," Lou says. Judging by the swoop in my chest I really needed to hear that. "I understand if you don't want your cousins knowing about us but I have no problem. You have nothing to be insecure about."

"Thank you." I twist the dial on the washing machine, another load spinning around. All the bedding has been changed, the couch cushion covers washed, everything dusted and tidied, and the process of cleaning has helped my head. Like my brain has been full of cobwebs I didn't know I needed to get rid of. "Do your friends know about us?" I know she had lunch with Talia, Jules and Kate yesterday.

"Yes," Lou says. She holds a playsuit up to her shoulders, folding it against her chest. "Do yours?"

"No," I admit, "but only because no-one's replied to the last message I posted in the group chat almost a week ago."

"Oh?"

I've mentioned Tay and Gaby to Lou, but not how things seem to be falling apart. I sigh as I take half of Lou's pile of dry clothes and start folding next to her. "I kind of have this feeling that Gaby is ... ugh, okay, I don't know how comfortable she is with the whole queer thing."

"What?" Lou drops the playsuit. "What do you mean?"

I am itchy and uncomfortable with the thought I've been mulling over recently; I've spent too long rereading old texts in the group chat. "She's never been that involved in my relationships, even though I was with Zahra for a year, and she's always seemed relieved when they're over. Like it's something she doesn't have to deal with anymore?"

"Hmm." Lou frowns. She tucks her long hair behind her ears, the strands catching in the arms of her glasses. Today's frames are bright red; so is her dress.

"And when I told her and Tay that I was here and I had a giant crush on you, Gaby was ... I don't know. Funny about it. Saying things like I don't get you but hey, you do you. And now she isn't replying to me about going to see her in California when she seemed to really want it before."