Cruel Summer | ✓

chapter thirty-five

I haven't posted anything on Instagram since my first day here, and now I'm hard launching my girlfriend by posting a selfie we took on the dock with the caption think I'm gonna stick around for a while ;). Lou is holding the camera and I am kissing her cheek and the sky is a pure cerulean blue behind us, the lake crystal clear. It's perfect.

After I post it, I check out my feed for the first time in a while. I run hot and cold with Instagram, either obsessing over it for weeks or forgetting about it for months, so there's a lot I've missed. Including a photo Gaby posted a few days ago: she's on the white sand beach in San Diego, sunning her already tan body in a bikini with three other girls. I don't recognize any, all of them new friends she's made out in California, and she has captioned it nothing better than a beach day with the gals.

I know we've drifted, I know she's pulling away, but it still hurts to see. The weekend she was so busy with crazy work, too much going on to see Tay and me, and she spent it on the beach with her new friends. It's fine, it's totally her prerogative and it's stupid to be jealous because I don't need her in my life, but it stings all the same. I take a screenshot and send it to Tay.

I think we've officially been replaced, I say. Two of her new friends even look like Tay and me: a small Asian-American girl with a short black bob and a messy-haired white girl in a tankini. I check out their profiles, seeing as Gaby has been so kind as to tag them. Tay's lookalike is called Vivian. Mine is Nina. Both of their profiles are private, my stalking coming to an abrupt end.

Ugh I knowwww like I'm glad she's happy but it sucks!!! how she just gave up on us so easy!!! Tay says. she couldn't wait to get to san diego :(

I'm glad it's not just me. Gaby has iced us both out, like we didn't spend the last six years together. In the space of three weeks she has turned her life around, found a new group of friends, moved on and up and away. Good for her.

IN OTHER NEWS!!! Tay texts, followed by a screenshot of my post. OMG!! this pic is EV-ER-Y-THING. obsessed. You guys are so hot. you're gonna stay there?

Yup! Who'd have thought that when I came here I'd end up shacking up with the sugar mama next door ;)

Love this for you <3 speaking of sugar mama, have you met her daughter yet?? does she know about you?

Ty!! & No and yes. But not no for long. Issy's coming back for the last week of August before the start of her sophomore year, I say. I'm bricking it. Issy has been a concept up until now, my girlfriend's daughter who lives thousands of miles away and almost never comes home, and now she's coming home. In two days. How am I supposed to look her in the eye knowing that last night I fingered her mom on top of the tumble dryer and this morning I fucked her in the shower? This is uncharted territory.

It's not like she's a little kid, at least. She's an adult; she's probably had sex; she isn't going to ask awkward questions. Right?

Omg that's big!! Tay says. Are you ready?

As I'll ever be. I send the crossed fingers emoji.

You have to assert dominance. She is your child now. Congratulations Charlie you're a mom! Show her who's boss!

LMAO yeah I don't think so.

She better respect you!!

I send a couple laughing emojis. I'm like 5 years older than her Tay I do not care if she doesn't respect me lol but maybe we can be friends

Hmm, Tay says. Can you be friends with the woman who's fucking your mom??

Idk we'll find out and I'll let you know