🍂- Heartstopper - Nick and Charlie -🍂

4.2 - Care

TW - anxiety, self harm

*Charlie's POV*

I got to the library as fast as I could when I read Nick's message. What was going on? I couldn't understand what could be going wrong with him since I saw him this morning and he looked pretty good. I rushed through the library, looking between every row of books. When I got to the back, in a corner where no one really goes, I saw him, sitting on the floor, his head in his hands. His whole body was shaking and I could see from the movement of his shoulders that he was crying. 

C - Nick! What's wrong?

He looked up to me, opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He was breathing rapidly and he was pale.

C - Hey, Nick, look at me. Breathe with me, okay? Deep breaths in through your nose, deep breaths out through your mouth. I think you're having a panic attack. It's gonna be alright. I'm here.

I held him in my arms and held his head gently incase he would pass out. I've had panic attacks before and one got so bad that I lost consciousness. I certainly didn't want that to happen to him. So I sat down next to him and took deep breaths with him. 

N - Char... I can't breathe. 

C - I know, that's why you have to focus and breathe with me, okay? Everything is gonna be just fine. I'm not leaving you. 

N - Thank you...

He managed to say those words but it took him at least 15 minutes to actually calm down and breathe properly again. 

N - I'm feeling a little bit better now. Thank you so much. I panicked and I don't even know why. I think I just started overthinking about everything and that's when I got dizzy and I- 

C - Nick, it's fine. You're okay now and I'm here with you. 

He looked down again and started biting his nails. I took his hand to make him stop. I then placed my other hand behind his neck and gently brushed through his hair. He flinched.

N - Ouch fuck!

C - What's wrong? 

I took off my hand and looked at the back of his head. Right under his hairline was a bright red bloody wound that looked like scratches. 

C - What's that?

N - It happens when I have those... episodes. I don't even notice that I'm doing it until I come back to normal again. It hurts like hell though. I don't know, I guess I don't really control it.

I stood up and reached for his hands to pull him up gently. It took him a second to stabilize himself.

C - It's my turn to take care of you now. You're coming to my house.

N - But-

C - No buts. You need help too and I want to be there for you.

I smiled at him and he smiled back. I took his hand in mine as we walked out of the library. As soon as we got outside Nick stopped, turned to me, and took me in his arms.

N - Thank you.