Nick's mom (Sarah) - So are you gonna explain to me what this is about Nick?
N - I'm sorry Mom. It's just...
Charlie came in my room, overhearing the conversation I was having with my mom. He sat down next to me and held my hand.
S - Charlie! How are you feeling darling?
C - I'm okay. But I think I should be the one to tell you what's going on.
He looked at me and nodded. I nodded back as I could tell that he was ready to talk about it.
C - The truth is... I came to live here a while for another reason than the one I told you. It was true that I had and still have problems at home but there's something else.
My mom looked at me, worried, then back at Charlie. I held his hand a little tighter and smiled at him.
C - I came to live here a couple weeks ago because... I tried to...
He paused for a second and wiped the tears from his cheeks.
C - I tried to kill myself.
Mom looked at me, shocked, then stood up to hug Charlie.
S - Oh, baby. I hope you're feeling better now. If I would've known, I would've been there for you more often. I'm so sorry.
C - It's okay. Just the fact that you welcomed me with such a big heart was more than enough. So, um, today, I heard people talk about it in the hallway and I panicked. I only told my closest friends so I don't know how the whole school knows now and-
His hands started shaking so I looked at my mom, letting her know that Charlie might need some space.
S - It's okay darling and, please, if you ever need to talk, I will always be here for you. You are a part of this family now Charlie.
She left my room and I turned to Charlie. He silently cried in my arms for a few minutes.
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We spent the day basically just cuddling and watching movies. Charlie was not as his best and it broke my heart to see him like this. He was doing so well and I felt like he was going down the hill again.
N - How are you feeling love?
He shrugged and buried his face in my chest. He then got up.
C - I'm just going to the bathroom.
N - Okay, take your time.
I absolutely hated seeing him like this and I was so worried about him. The last thing I wanted was for my boyfriend to feel horrible again. Also, I needed to find out who told everyone. Just thinking about that made me so angry.
30 minutes had passed and Charlie was still in the bathroom.
N - Char? Are you okay?
There was no answer.
N - Charlie, love. Just want to make sure you're alright.
When I didn't hear anything, I slowly opened the door.
N - Omg Charlie!
He was sitting on the floor with a razor in his right hand. His left arm was filled with little bubbles of blood forming several lines.
C - I'm so sorry.
N - Hey, no, don't be sorry. Char...
Tears were streaming down my face. I gently took the razor out of his hand and threw it out. I then got a wet towel and sat down next to him to clean the cuts. His face had no expression. When I finished cleaning his arm and wrapping it up, I picked Charlie up and went to lay him on my bed.
N - Charlie...
C - I know, I know, I'm a complete idiot.
N - No, stop saying that. I'm just worried about you darling. You hadn't cut since the hospital. I thought you were doing better.
C - I was until someone decided to bring this back up in my life and ruin everything!
He yelled at me, which shocked me because he had never yelled at me before. I guess it showed on my face.
C - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scream at you.
N - It's okay, I understand how all of this is frustrating.
I held him tightly as he was crying.
N - Char... You know what the doctor said last time... He said that if you relapsed again...
C - No! Please, Nick, no! Fuck! You can't do this to me.
He let go of me and stood up, racing back and forth around my room.
N - Okay, okay. Charlie, come here. Hey, calm down.
C - How do you want me to calm down Nicholas! My life was great. I was happy, living new things, having sex with you, everything was perfect and, and, now everything is falling apart. How the fuck do you want me to calm down?! Huh?!
I looked at him, still in shock. I had never seen him like this before. I stood up too and tried to get closer to him to comfort him, but he was backing up as if he was scared of me.
C - I'm leaving. I want to go home.
N - But, Charlie I-
C - I don't want to hear it!
He ran downstairs and left. I stood in front of the closed door for ages, tears streaming down my face.
