Fall

Chapter 59: Tinfoil Hats

I stumble out of my seat and cringe as I feel everyone's eyes move to me. "I need, I need some air." I barely get out before I rush out of the room, out of the office and into an arena that is so open and wide it doesn't feel like it's suffocating me. I have to lean over, my hands on my knees, to try and get myself to calm down. It could be just a coincidence, though nothing ever is in this town. In this life. 

Something touches my arm and I jump, whirling around with Riptide at the ready in my hand. "Woah, it's just me. What's wrong?" Elena asks me, and I'm surprised she even came out to check on me. 

"Nothing, nothing." The words rush out of me too quickly and she narrows her doe brown eyes at me. "I'm fine, just needed some air. Go back inside. Important discoveries." I try to impart some mirth into my voice and it falls flat, strangled, for once my lies don't work. 

She gives me a little bit of space but still looks concerned. "I know I haven't been the best sister, I know that." She looks down at her feet and I take that moment to shove my hands into my pocket, to keep them from shaking in front of her. "But I'm still your sister. Despite how crazy that sounds, despite everything that's happened. So if you need me, I'm here. What's going on?" 

"I-" I cut myself off from giving her another strangled lie. My lip quivers and I curse it internally. I can't keep hiding this from people, not when it seems like it's looming right in front of me. God, why is the air so tight here too? So thin, there's not enough of it. The moment between us as I try to decide seems to stretch slow, like molasses. Sticky and long, time halting as I try to come to this decision. Can I put my death on her conscience? 

"You can tell me anything, Kara. I know I've been...I've been the worst." Tears start to gather in her eyes and I shake my head quickly. "No, no I know I have been. I've belittled you and just been so mean. I was still hurt by you and Stefan, hurt by how much everything was changing. I was so selfish. But I'm here now. Let me help you." 

Hugging myself tightly against the setting sun, the growing cold, I slip to the ground and try to make myself as small as possible. This isn't important, there's more important things going on. We're learning about werewolves and Katherine and I'm just breaking down like an idiot. No one else should shoulder my burdens but me, I'm drawing too much attention. "Kara, I know this isn't a one-off thing. You've been, you haven't been yourself for months. Since your birthday, really. And I just brushed it off, told myself it was everything going on around us. But it feels like there's something more. Please talk to me." Elena's begging me now, unshed tears in her eyes as she lowers herself to my level. 

I rock back and forth on my heels and check behind us, at the Duke campus and Isobel's office. Is Damon listening in? Can I trust that? "Do you have the keys to the van?" I ask her, indicating to the car a few paces away from us. She shakes her head, so I bring my phone out from my pocket and turn on some music from it. Hopefully that's enough so he can't hear what we're saying. 

"On my birthday," I take a shaky breath, tears already threatening to spill down my cheeks. "On my birthday, Ms. Skuld gave me some presents. She told me I'm a Valkyrie, and she is too. She told me that her gift is that she can see into the future. And she t-" 

I choke on my words, wondering if I'm actually going to tell someone now. I swallow hard, so so anxious inside that she'll tell someone. That I'll be burdening her. "She what?" Elena prods me gently, now fully sitting on the curb beside me. 

"She told me how I d-die. Not just how, when. Who," My breath comes out forced from my chest, like my body is willing me to keep going. "Who kills me." 

Elena stills beside me, worrying her hands in her lap. "Someone kills you?" 

"And I've had nightmares about it ever since." The words start to flow from my mouth now, I can't quite stop myself. Everything comes rushing out, things I've kept inside for so long. "And I know that what she told me is the truth because she's predicted other things that came true, things I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. And god, I tried so hard Elena." I hiccup a bit, fully crying now, as my words come out in a jumbled mess. I can't even keep track of what I'm saying.