The memory of you - (x Chishiya)

31

When I first heard the now familiar boom of the cannon, I had not the slightest Idea of who the victim could be. It was only when I saw the white hood phlegmatically standing by what looked like the cell Ippei had been in, I started to question the situation.

Standing on the shore by the ocean of my worries, from the distance I could mildly see a tsunami coming near, a huge wave of one single thing. Fear.

My conscience stood frozen, yet every step my physical body took, added another bulge on my shoulders. It almost felt as though with every step the cell door just kept moving further, scared witless about the thought of nearing the door.

I didn't want to believe it. I felt my ears ringing, voices being fogged out, only the sound the wave that was nearing staying like an eco in my mind.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach, like a heavy sack of rice, I felt it in my stitches, my pulse radiating from every injury I had ever had in the borderlands.

It couldn't be, right?

We just spoke to him a few minutes ago, he was just next to me.

I had .. I - thought he was okay. He seemed a little spooked, holding on to my hand and leaning his head on my shoulder as we patiently waited for the timer to reach 0 and when he thanked me and hugged me before going into the cell I had thought nothing of it!

How could I be such a fool? How couldn't I pay attention to the one thing that mattered?

I could see the wave nearing, I knew it'd wash over me and drown me, pulling me deep into the ocean.

So, when what felt like a century went by and I finally got my feet to stand as close to the cell as possible and he stepped aside, I knew my delusions were only a white lie for comfort.

I couldn't make myself look, my heart refused. It beat like drums, warning me that this was not something I wanted to witness, not something I wanted to print into the wall of terrifying memories. Ringing in my ears, screaming as loud as it could.

However, my mind thought otherwise, curiosity and proof being necessary for me to believe this was real.

Because, everyone but him exiting the cells wasn't enough. Because, my brain just had to see the blood splattered all over the walls, his body laying on the ground.

And then once I looked, I couldn't look away. Examining every inch of the small cramped room, every inch of the red splattered on the walls.

I wanted to go in, see if it was too late. God knows what made me think there'd be a chance he'd be alive.

I just , I couldn't believe it.

I physically felt his body heat freeze up from all the way outside the cell door, I could feel his organs stop, his voice disappear into the void of nothingness.

The shock of something cold brushing against my shoulder pulled me back into reality.

What is he doing?

I hadn't noticed my eyes swell up, only when I felt the salty liquid by the corners of my lips was when I registered I was crying.

"Chishiya, tell me its not real." Was all I could choke out before I lost it.

Like a fool, a buffoon.

He just looked at me, studying me like I was a failed experiment that had messed up once, twice and the third time he knew how to deal with me. Yet, I couldn't study him because he was just unreadable. What are you thinking? Is this not bothering you?